You're not a care giver anymore. You're not a spouse anymore. You ARE that "W" word that no one likes attached to their name; Widow or widower is such an ugly sounding word.
So, who are you now?
You've been through some life changing times. You found strength you never thought you had and you've kissed your loved one good-bye. It's not exactly back to square one, but it is starting from a square you're not familiar with, right? Friends and family have scooped you up on holidays and special occasions and they've tried to make you feel like you're a part of the celebration, but all you can do is think about how different it would be if you were with your loved one. You'd probably be sitting together, and maybe you'd be dancing and laughing and making another memory together, but not now.
We're in a pickle here aren't we? Look in the mirror, who do you see? Some one who has to make some hard choices. No matter how long it takes, we have to learn to live again. It will be a different life, but different doesn't mean bad.
Different is creating a new you, a new one of us. Get on your mark.....go.