That’s it…it’s all about HOPE!!
That’s what makes this all worthwhile. It’s HOPE.
We all have to have it, otherwise why bother with the treatment, with the fight, with being a caregiver or a nurse….or with being a patient?
We are in this battle because inside all of us, no matter what hat we’re wearing, is that thing we call HOPE. Chemo can’t kill it. There’s not a surgeon alive who can cut it out. It’s what brings the nurses back into the infusion room day after day and it’s what empowers the caregiver to do what they do…give life to a loved one, a fighting chance.
It’s the engine that hums along inside the cancer patient that drives them to believe they can live another day, maybe another week, maybe another month.
And if that life ends, hope seems, for a while anyway, to end with it…but that’s the best part about it….it will come back…it will make it all worth while again.
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November 13, 2016 @ 9:46 pm
Merci pour cette mise en exergue de l’art de la critique par Guibert qui savait avec la « presque chirurgicale cruauté de son texte » (Bianciotti dans « Dialogues d’images ») trouver les mots justes, un véritable « coup d’archet disait l’écrivain.A relire, parmi ses nombreux textes (hormis ceux sur la photo rassemblés en 1999 dans la photo inéluctablement), celui sur Balthus préfacé par Eric de Chassey (Enquète autour d’un portrait – 1997).
November 13, 2016 @ 12:20 pm
Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.
October 22, 2016 @ 5:26 pm
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July 24, 2016 @ 9:31 am
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July 20, 2016 @ 10:36 am
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July 20, 2016 @ 10:12 am
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July 15, 2016 @ 6:25 am
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June 18, 2016 @ 10:47 pm
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May 12, 2016 @ 9:18 pm
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April 28, 2016 @ 9:17 pm
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April 19, 2016 @ 11:03 am
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April 19, 2016 @ 11:02 am
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April 15, 2016 @ 7:11 am
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April 15, 2016 @ 6:39 am
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April 15, 2016 @ 6:01 am
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April 14, 2016 @ 10:57 am
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April 14, 2016 @ 10:31 am
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April 14, 2016 @ 10:19 am
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April 6, 2016 @ 11:22 am
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April 6, 2016 @ 10:57 am
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April 2, 2016 @ 4:29 pm
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April 1, 2016 @ 4:15 am
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April 1, 2016 @ 3:41 am
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March 31, 2016 @ 1:21 pm
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March 30, 2016 @ 3:01 pm
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March 30, 2016 @ 2:51 pm
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March 30, 2016 @ 2:09 pm
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March 30, 2016 @ 1:47 pm
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March 29, 2016 @ 11:07 am
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February 21, 2016 @ 11:39 pm
Cynthia, thanks. There is a sevrael-week delay in publishing Florida’s Water, which I will post about soon. I do think that the people that run water management agencies should be fairly representative of Floridians, particularly since they are not elected. Tom
April 4, 2011 @ 12:22 pm
My Thanks to one and all for your thoughts and prayers. She is continuing to improve but still a long way to go….that’s OK, I’m here for however long it takes. Her hallucinations and dementia are now gone. So glad our many friends and friends of friends have prepared food for us. Would not be a pretty sight with me trying to prepare a “real” meal! Thank you for your thoughts and prayers with all of my heart…you are such special friends.
April 5, 2011 @ 1:07 am
Fabulous news Al….still in my thoughts and prayers..!
April 3, 2011 @ 10:44 pm
“Tomorrow we’ll discover
What our God in heaven has in store.
One more dawn
One more day
One day more!”
“ONE DAY MORE” -Les Miserables
April 3, 2011 @ 11:20 am
It’s been a long road to get to where I am now, but I am never far from all of you, especially in my heart! Al, you and your wife will be in my prayers…your little light of hope has always shined for me. I try to carry it with me where ever I go…and I share it when ever I can! Laurie S, thank you for continuing to keep this going! I hope someday, the “friends we never met” can meet. Love and hugs….and in Stan’s memory, “thoughts”…..
April 3, 2011 @ 2:43 am
My first time here … I was only checking in occasionally at the NPR Our Cancer site and didn’t realize you had moved. This is so much easier to get to and now I’ve subscribed so I can keep in touch. You’ve been a lifeline, Laurie, and I’m happy to be back amongst these wonderful people.
Al – I’m so sorry to read of your wife’s serious health issues. Caregiving is indeed a tough job, but one that can also bring some beautiful moments. I hope you get some of those moments. My Vern had some issues with hallucinations and confusion and it was a horrible thing. We found his was related to a specific med he was being given.
Hope was such a big part of my caregiving years … faith – hope – love … and when it was time for hospice, hope was still there. Hope for a peaceful transition, which we received. It’s been 6 months now – so hard to believe. Some good days, some tough days, but I’m taking it one day at a time.
April 2, 2011 @ 9:55 pm
Al, I will keep your wife in my prayers, and offer blessings to all who are here.
I just learned this evening that one of the best friends of one of my sisters has stage 4 colon cancer. My sister and Kathy grew up together; their birthdays are only a few days apart. Kathy’s 54. She had no signs until falling ill two days ago. I ask for your prayers, and I hold on to hope.
April 2, 2011 @ 7:15 pm
Hope it’s the little light that when my “soul” crawled out the window on the trip to the second infusion, lighted my way back.
Hope it’s what kept me getting up trough the year surgery and treatment.
As Al has championed all this time, and Laurie has written, Hope is the light we all carry that keeps up going and trying.
Hope is what we have here to offer, hope from former and current caregivers, hope from survivors, hope to help new members to our cancer find their way.
Hope, always give yourself that little moment when you can Hope.
April 2, 2011 @ 1:15 pm
Cancer sister….I did not mean to ignore you in my last post. I just forgot and hit the “submit” button too fast.
You are blessed that you and your loved ones have been able to hold onto hope. It is soooo important to do so. Without it, we tend to dissolve into a puddle of fear, apathy and despair and lose all the wonderful experiences that are still open to us.
I appreciate all that you must have gone through with losing your husband and your sister. We lost of 47 year old daughter to lung cancer in early 2008; only 2 days after my husband was diagnosed. She was sooo positive all during her illness. She felt very confident that she would beat the cancer and survive BUT she also was at peace with the fact that she may not survive this disease and did not fear because she was convinced of an after-life. This did make it so much easier on all of us, seeing her trusting hope and acceptance and her determination to make each day count.
I do hope that you are making progress on your “after cancer/death” journey; I know how hard it can be. You sound as though you are in a good place. Please continue to come back; you have much to share.
April 2, 2011 @ 1:06 pm
Welcome Sondra and Dawn… I don’t believe I have seen you posting before. I do hope that you’ll keep coming back.
Dawn…. Hope is the light that helps us to manage the desperate fear that can so control us during these times. This fear can be so debilitating that it keeps us from enjoying the days that we do have…squandering them in senseless worry about what could be…might be…will be!! Don’t allow your fear to rob you in this way.
It sounds as though you have done all that you should on your end of the table. Sometimes all we can do is wait. My husband has been off chemo treatment for about a year now. He has regained all the weight he lost, a lot of his energy and feels terrific……despite the fact that his tumor markers have been rising over the past 7-8 months. His last scan showed a nodule in his lung (his disease has metastasized) but it is still unclear whether it is something to worry about or not, since it is so small. It does worry us, but we’re trying to focus on the good days that he is experiencing now and trying to let go of the fear. We know that it is very likely that he will go back on chemotherapy and, perhaps, radiation and/or surgery; we are trying not to think too much about that, but it is often hard not to. I wish you peace of mind, courage and strength to accept whatever the future holds for you and the patience and resilience to continue to question and examine all that you are told and read about. Most of all, I wish you a heart full of hope!!
Al…..I am SO very sorry to hear about your wife. I know how hard this must be for you. I am hoping, like you, that the disturbing ill effects that she is experiencing will be short-term and that she will soon be on her way to a full recovery. The good thing about this type of surgery is that it removes the fears of not having it done and paves the way for a brighter future together.
You always have such a positive attitude Al, and I know that must contribute so much to your capacity to be hopeful. I feel sure that this will help you to face your daily challenges now as a caretaker but never forget that you MUST take care of yourself or who will take care of her? Get your rest, eat well, keep your medical appointments and keep building on that hope. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, even if it is only for someone to sit with her a while so you have a chance to get out…not just for errands and shopping etc., but sometimes just for YOU….or use that time to get a nice nap. Neighbors and friends will often offer to make and deliver a meal; take them up on it and enjoy their gift. Leave the outside and heavy work to your son and/or friends. Don’t worry about the little things…dusting, vacumning, etc….just keep the house uncluttered. You can always have someone in to clean once in a while for the bigger, time wasting stuff. Again, take care of yourself in any way possible.
I will keep your wife and your family in my prayers Al. Please let us know how she progresses.
April 1, 2011 @ 8:54 pm
Sometimes hope is all we have. When my husband was diagnosed w/stomach cancer, they told him he had a month at the most. He lived for more than a year and a half after his diagnosis. And when my sister was diagnosed w/lung cancer, they told her to get her affairs in order immediately. For almost a year, she kept beating the odds.. Hope was such a huge motivator for both of them. They were acutely aware of the fact that their cancers were insurmountable. But their hope pushed them forward to keep facing another day. Hope springs eternal.
April 1, 2011 @ 7:34 pm
I have been away from here for at least 7 days. I am now a caregiver to my wife. It is not cancer but it is a triple bypass complicated with severe emphysema. I have been with her in the hospital for about 21 hours each day and night. Her heart surgery was a success but the emphysema has been exacerbated by her surgery hence she has difficulty breathing. I am fully aware of the trails and tribulations of a caregiver but I am also honored to be her caregiver. She cared for me for 10 years and 10 cancer surgeries, chemo, radiation, etc. It is much more difficult being the caregiver than the patient,,,IMHO. She has suffered from hallucinations that would do honor to any horror show. Suffers from some form of dementia….short term but nevertheless has conversations with people who are not there; cannot remember what we just talked about, etc. I am hopeful that these ill effects will pass but that remains to be seen. Yes caregivers are special and it is so difficult. You are never “off the clock”; never a relaxing moment; always something to do. Fortunately our daughter and son pitch in to give me some relief but even then it is short lived. The hours of the day flash by because the number of things to be done exceeds the hours necessary to do them.
My little light of Hope continues to burn. It is and will not be extinguished. The darkness has visited but it has been cast out by Hope. Hope reins eternal. Tomorrow will bring a better outcome. For all of this I remain hopeful.
April 1, 2011 @ 2:43 pm
Thank you Laurie, I needed this today. I was diagnosed in 2008 at the age of 38. Surgery removed the 2cm tumor. Second surgery followed in 2009 to remove more to try to get clear margins. Margins were unclear for insitu cells but my surgeon and oncologist felt it best to do a “wait and see” approach! I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop and it’s exhausting. I go back every 3 months for anoscopy. I have experienced procedures that I will never do again without anethesia. Colorectal surgeon gave me a green light to go 6 months before I see her again. I go back in June. I have been journaling my symptoms because I have bleeding. I’m frustrated because I feel like I’m not being heard. My cancer is classified as anal cancer. It is squamous cell carinoma a skin cancer. I’m sorry but I thought cancer is cancer. It doesn’t pick and choose it just attacks. So unclear margins to me is terrifying! I have gotten second opinion, even spoke with an oncologist in Seattle. They all seem to agree “wait and see”. I’m scared and my hope was thin today. But reading the blog today….I was lifted. Thank you!
April 1, 2011 @ 2:09 pm
With spring comes hope again…You sound well, Laurie. Hopefully you are feeling some Joy.