We measure years so differently.
A fifteen year birth date is a young life, full of opportunity and hope.
A fifteen year death date is a memorial on a calendar month that is filled with mixed emotions.
I’m having one of those today. It is the anniversary of my Mom’s death. Cancer ended her life on May 2nd, fifteen years ago this afternoon.
My Mom was a great mom. She had her hands full raising me. I can admit to that now because I have hind sight. In fact, I’m not sure how my parents got through those tough teenage years of mine. They must have been made of steel. It was much easier when it came to raising my sister!
My Mom was one of those moms who made the best tuna sandwich in the world. She was the best cook. Even though she was deathly afraid of the water, she would take me to the beach when I was a kid, so I could spend hours body surfing in the ocean. She loved just sitting on the sand, people watching and getting some sun. Summers in San Diego were the best. She believed in keeping her kids active, so she’d pack us in the car and drive us to swimming lessons and tennis lessons and any other lesson that would keep us busy.
She was smart too. Played piano my ear and expected good grades and good behavior from us from elementary school on up. That happened ‘most’ of the time.
She was well into her 80’s when cancer can into her world, but she was still strong and healthy. Besides being in the hospital for the birth of her two daughters, a broken hip was the only other time she’d really been in need of medical care.
So when her doctor told her it was cancer that would take her life, she was mad. “How can this be?” I remember her saying. We all wondered that too.
Less than a year later, this wonderful woman who gave me life, lost her own as the cancer spread. Fifteen years ago…only a heart beat away.
May 9, 2011 @ 4:16 am
TIME is that one thing in life we don’t have any hold over, it is totally out of our control. I am sorry for your loss, I am sure she is now watching over you and your family while you are celebrating Mother’s Day, a day dedicated to her. 🙂
May 3, 2011 @ 12:13 pm
Thinking of you, Laurie. I also lost my mother to cancer many years ago now. I have now had 2 years more with my children than my mother had with me. In spite of a good remission, I know things could change in a heartbeat. so I treasure every minute on this planet!
Take good care,
Betsey in Albany
May 2, 2011 @ 11:15 pm
Wonderful memories of our dear Moms. This week marks 13 years since my Mom died. And Mo, I’m with Kathie, how can it be 2 years? Keeping you all in my thoughts.
May 2, 2011 @ 9:07 pm
This week marks the 11th anniversary of my mother’s death. She was an exceptional human being and the best mother to all eight of us. Our life wasn’t easy growing up and I know hers was even tougher but we all survived and made our lives based on her letting us know that she expected us to be decent human beings. Maybe this is why my last couple of weeks have been so rough and I just didn’t realize it. Laurie, you mother sounds like she was an exceptional woman also…we all miss our mothers and I will celebrate mine, and the mothers my daughters have become this weekend. Sounds like we were a lucky group of children. Mo…I can’t believe your Patrick has been gone two years. Peace be with you.
May 2, 2011 @ 8:32 pm
The first anniversary of my mother’s death is next week, so I find this post so relevant to me right now. I have missed her so much this year. Also, I had my colonoscopy today and everything is fine. I wish I could call her and tell her that.
May 2, 2011 @ 6:39 pm
The memories are special so treasure them and repeat them for others who haven’t heard about her, Laurie. I treasure the memories of my Mom…she was one of twelve and the baby. We grew up, my sister and me, in the family home in a tiny town of 200, yep 200. The homestead was a beacon that cast its light for all who were in need or just want to reaffirm the family ties. My Mom was the keeper of the family flame and it burned brightly on her watch. As she watched many of her brothers and sisters succumb to Alzheimers (it was called hardening of the arteries back then), she knew her fate. Never to be deterred she did what she could do until she could do no longer. Alzheimer’s claimed her…a cruel fate for such a caring woman. In the last 2-3 years of her life she did not know me or any of her family. Confined to care of two caring angels who were her sitters and caregivers, she hung on. On Christmas night in 2000, she went to be with the Lord and I was so grateful that her misery was over. In spite of all of the sadness, we still talk, our kids, about Grandma and the special moments she created for all of us. I wish that she could see, and yes I think she does see, that we are alright and we are trying mightily to live up to her legacy. One day my wife’s and my ashes will be buried at the head of her tombstone. We will have come full circle as it should be. I have chronicled the story of my mother’s life from my perspective for my kids and grandkids entitled “Mama’s Long Goodbye”. One day I will share it with them…perhaps after I’m gone. They should know about her, our family and their roots. I hope that they will be pleased. Memories are so special and I treasure them all.
May 2, 2011 @ 6:03 pm
Bask in her warm memory, Laurie, She’s with you still.
May 2, 2011 @ 5:56 pm
With you in your loss this week. The 5th will mark two years since Patrick’s death. I ask how that can be, it seems like yesterday and forever at the same time.