Is it important to cut the cord and step away from the friends we made during “cancer time?”
So many of us connected with our doctors and nurses and other caregivers as we marched through cancer world. We saw some of them on a daily basis. Some were other patients who walked into the chemo room with us because they were on the same treatment schedule. Some were a part of cancer group sessions where families shared their fears and their feelings.
But once the cancer was treated, or in some cases, took a life, and we moved out of that circle, did we take steps to stay in touch? Was there a level of comfort there, that was just too hard to separate from? We felt protected and taken care of, in some ways while our loved ones were getting great care. It was a new way of life that became the new normal.
Now that we’re out of it and the normal has changed again, where do those “cancer” folks go? Where do they fit?
I’ve held on to some of them. They are still important to me in so many ways. What they did for Leroy and for me will stay a part of me forever. My friendship circle expanded to make room for these special people.
The “cord” gets stronger every day.
May 31, 2011 @ 7:41 pm
Have we been hacked? Never saw so many replies before and never without a “message”. I wouldn’t advise anyone to click on them; might be a virus!!
June 1, 2011 @ 12:11 pm
Hi Betty,
We’re getting hit with bunch of spam in the open comments area on Our Cancer. I’m working with our Web technicians to tighten the spam filter, and in the meantime, please don’t click any of those links.
Thanks,
Vanessa Wasta
Johns Hopkins Kimmel Cancer Center Public Affairs
May 31, 2011 @ 9:44 am
Forgive me for this shameless plug.
I was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer (with liver mets) in August 2010. Since then, I’ve had two surgeries (partial colonectomy and right hepatectomy) and 12 cycles of chemo.
I’ve recently started a “cancer blog,” a fictional tongue in cheek account, loosely based on my own reality, which chronicles “The Absurd Epistolary Adventures of the Astonishing FartMan” and his alter ego, W____. It’s all about how the fictional Super Hero The Astonishing FartMan and his alter ego, W____, are living and learning with “their” colon cancer. The link is:
http://theastonishingfartman.blogspot.com/
Some might find the blog entertaining, diverting, or comforting. Others will find it obnoxious, unreadable, and worthless. Both might be right!
May 30, 2011 @ 7:40 am
Al, hope NED stays with you as a friend for a very very long time.
Laurie, I still eat with the family of a friend. She was dx with BC stage IV, mets everywhere and was a wonderful woman. Met the mother and daughter in the infusion room.
When we were alone after being hooked up, she turned to me and asked ‘ So what ya got, I’m riddled’ we proceeded to laugh and carry on like we were at a party.
We started to eat dinners together on Thursday night. Always a most interesting night out.
I would not, could not, imagine being without the support of her family.
So no I do not think there is any reason to cut that cord.
May 27, 2011 @ 5:06 pm
I stay in contact with friends I’ve met in the cancer world. Some of my friends have died and I stay in contact with their spouses. Many of the doctors I still see routinely, nurses, office staff. The bond that began our friendship was cancer. Now it is much more but cancer still is on the forefront. I owe lots of people and I try to pay it forward by reaching out to those newly diagnosed. It is a very scary place especially when you “don’t know the ropes.” It is still scary for me. I go for scans on Tuesday..nervous time. I’ve heard the terrific news and also the bad news. I prefer the terrific news……..NED is visiting once again….so we’ll see what the scans show this time..