It doesn’t matter if you feel like you’re going through the motions or if you’re really living again, because you’ve survived the most terrible thing you can imagine. You’ve lost a loved one to cancer and you’ve lived to fight another day.
Waking up to your brave new world isn’t much fun. It’s filled with challenges you never imagined you would face. It’s a world of the lonely. It’s a world of starting over. It’s face to face with the second step.
But remember, we looked at our special warriors who were fighting their cancer and we were in awe of their strength. They looked at each day and faced it and their cancer and never flinched. It was a different world for them too.
We have to remind ourselves of that every day. Talk about role models….what better examples could there be?
We can do this…We’re survivors too….
June 30, 2011 @ 4:03 am
We should give credits to caregivers, it takes a lot of courage to submit theirselves on a day to day basis.
June 25, 2011 @ 3:11 pm
Yes – we are survivors, too. I posted this comment over at http://www.widowedvillage.org this morning and I think it fits here, too.
Being a caregiver brings out something very special in us – and connects all of us together in a very special place. We had to do some things we never expected to come our way during our lifetime, we lived those vows we said on our wedding day, we made our loved one’s journey the best we could, with faith, hope and love helping us put one foot in front of the other to get through all of those very, very tough days and nights. And when it came time to say goodbye – it was far too soon, regardless of the number of months or years we had ‘known’ how it would eventually end.
Some say we were lucky to have had the opportunity to say goodbye and I guess that’s true, but it’s difficult to feel lucky when you see your soul mate suffering through hospitalizations, surgeries, chemo, radiation, dialysis, mistakes, crises, pain. If I am to feel lucky about my time as a caregiver it would be for the closeness, the almost spiritual connection we gained during those 4.5 years. For that, I am truly blessed.
Here’s to all of you wonderful caregivers. May today bring you peace of a job well done.
June 24, 2011 @ 7:39 pm
I have always said that caregivers have the most difficult role as compared with the patient. I have been a patient for 10 years…the beast has been relentless and we, yes we..my wife and I, have maintained the resolve to do whatever it takes to get to the next day, next week, etc. She has been a Rock…she has skills never envisioned in her life..giving shots, removing stitches, securing bandages to cover some awful looking surgical wounds, helping me to shower, put on clothes, etc. I trust her implicitly. She has become well schooled in the cancer world. Caregivers are truly special. As a patient, I don’t expect her to do miracles and to make it all go away. What she gives me is her very best and her ultimate commitment through it all. As all of you know, “for better or worse until death do us part” is not just a part of the marriage vows but the words mean exactly what they say. May God continue to bless all caregivers. Angels walk this earth in the form of caregivers.
June 24, 2011 @ 6:26 pm
I do feel like we are good role models for caregiving and that makes me incredibly proud and sad at the same time. Jim thanked me often for taking good care of him and it came from his big heart. Do I wish I had not had that job? You bet I do but we aren’t always allowed to choose our tasks in life, they choose us for the most part and we are measured by how well we do them. Our friend has recently been diagnosed with PSP, which is a degenerative brain disorder and only a few months in I can hear the change in his wife’s voice and hear the stress beginning. She too will be a good caregiver but given the choice she wouldn’t want the job. I hope I can give her some guidance.