A Voice Without Hope?
Al used a phrase in his post that alarmed me.
A voice without hope….
It’s an unfinished sentence isn’t it? How would you finish it?
I can’t think of it in any other way because a voice without hope would be the end of a life. We all get to a point in cancer world where hope fades to the point where it’s only a flicker of a light deep inside our hearts, but it isn’t extinguished until that life is gone.
Going through the phases of this disease tests so many parts of what makes us whole. The glue to the whole package is hope. We’re nothing without it and if it’s a strong enough emotion, it can get us through some of the hardest days.
A voice without hope……You finish the sentence.
July 27, 2011 @ 10:55 am
How this was driven home to me was when I attended a support group for melanoma. Several were really struggling, two in particular. They were being treated by a well known melanoma specialist. Soon they stopped coming to the support group. So I called. We talked about many things but they volunteered that they were willing to fight, to try some other protocol and to go to another cancer center. But they said that their oncologist told them “to go home, get their affairs in order and that there was no hope”. It was so sad to hear the hollow tone of their voices. It is hard to describe but if you’ve ever heard the sound of a voice with no hope, you’ll not soon forget it.
Was the doctor being compassionate to say what he said; was he honest and realistic in his assessment, probably so…soon after our telephone conversations they both died. But surely there was another way or other words or other actions the doctor could have taken to convey their dire circumstances without removing the smallest scintilla of Hope that they needed to cling to for their own well being….mentally and emotionally.
Contrast this with another acquaintance. She has terminal lung cancer. Her time is very limited. She is on oxygen full time. I saw her in church and spoke with her. She knows that she is close to the end of her life. She is at peace with it. She does have Hope. She renewed her car insurance for 6 months. Her attitude is just so positive and upbeat. She was given a choice to endure more treatments which would cause more sickness OR she could live out whatever days she had left but it was her choice. She chose to stop all treatments. The key difference in my mind was that she was given a choice and she made the one she was most comfortable with for her. Her voice is full of Hope and not the hollow sound of a voice without Hope.
July 27, 2011 @ 12:32 am
A voice without hope screams out questions unspoken.
A voice without hope echos behind a smile forced for me.
A voice without hope is in rhythm with a heart searching for rest.
A voice without hope is heard before it is spoken.
A voice without hope is silenced by the mantra:”not today…not today”
July 26, 2011 @ 10:10 pm
“The sound of a voice without hope”. . . My brother deeply wearied of so many people always pushing him to go to this hospital or that one, to look into this treatment or the other, to have this or some other test. It wasn’t that he was giving in to a sense of futility when he accepted there was nothing to be done about his cancer. He wasn’t afraid of dying; the people jabbering at him were afraid of his dying. When we spoke with each other, we rarely talked about treatment(s), his status as patient. He gave me the chance to listen with an open heart and really hear. I think that’s what it means to have hope, to be able to hear a voice that says, to paraphrase Rumi, “I am near.”
July 26, 2011 @ 9:08 pm
I could never imagine losing hope. I think that was part of the reason I couldn’t see the end was near. Some of my family and friends asked if I had prepared for what to them was inevitable and I just told them I hadn’t and couldn’t because in my mind I felt like I was giving up hope. Maybe there were things I could have done or conversations we should have had but I refused to see the end. Do I regret that? Absolutely not! I have many regrets but being hopeful to the end is not one of them.