Watch Over Her
Any body been watching “Shark Week” on The Discovery Channel this week? Remember that great line “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water….”
That’s the way caregiving too. Just when you think there’s a break in the intense caring and giving to a loved one, cancer figures out a way to change-up the game and you’re right back in the thick of it. There’s an article in my newspaper this morning that talks about the cost of caregiving. I’m not just talking about the financial cost of providing the best care to your loved one, but the emotional cost too.
Most caregivers I know put their heart and soul into it. A caregivers life changes just like the patients’ does….but we don’t care. We pour ourselves into our caregiver’s armor and go to work. In my case, and in the case of so many others, when the disease ends the need for the caregiving, we need a very long time to heal from the loss. It also takes a long time to change back into the real world, where caregiving isn’t the norm.
So when I see someone like Laurie Hirth stepping back into her caregiving clothes and facing another loss to cancer, I know she had the tools to do this and she certainly felt the need to help her friend Dom, but the emotional toll on her today is probably just settling in. It’s going to take a long time and a lot of lifting to help her through this time.
I hope she checks-in with us for a while, just so we can check on her. Regardless, keep her in your thoughts.
Our caregiving duties have just begun.
August 12, 2011 @ 10:45 am
You got to push it-this enssetail info that is!
August 11, 2011 @ 8:38 am
This article acehived exactly what I wanted it to achieve.
August 5, 2011 @ 1:46 am
I am in awe of the love and support I find here, I can’t even begin to thank you and let you know what it means to come back here and find all the support I had the first time around. I am in a different place now. I don’t know if I can ever hurt like I did with Neil. That pain is awful. After 3 years, it’s buried so deep and now going through this again with a very dear friend, it’s different. I feel like there is this huge piece of armor around my heart and every now and then it cracks just a little and then that super glue called strength kicks in.
I’m overwhelmed this time in a different way. I didn’t know his family, I do now and Dom would be very proud of how his son and nephew are taking care of everything and working together getting it all done! I can step back, I have done what I needed to do, I can breath again. Dom’s taken care of for now, the family made their decisions and it’s all good. I was there when Dom needed me and I did nothing less than what Dom would have done for me.
The family wants to get together tomorrow, as much as I am looking forward to it, the finality of the past two weeks will finally be here and maybe, just maybe the armor will crack and I can start to feel again. I sure hope so…I am ready to step back and carry on with the great memories Dom and I shared together. He made a lot of friends in a very short time and I am honored to be one of them…he touched my heart just as he touched all of yours.
I won’t be going anywhere, I may take a break and live again, but the bonds here can’t be broken. Life goes on but you can never forget where you came from, or where your going. No matter what, your all going with me! Love and Hugs… Laurie
August 4, 2011 @ 7:48 pm
I hope she is surrounded by friends to help ease her sorrows. She knows she can check in here when ever the need or feelings arise.
Sad how this disease follows us around and strikes at our family and friends, not to mention ourselves.
Perhaps someday it’s reign of terror will end.
August 5, 2011 @ 1:48 am
I am Brady…right now I just need some alone time to get my thoughts together. Took a long walk with my dog and just my thoughts. The stars tonight were shining pretty bright and keeping my path lit!
I hope that reign will end soon too!
August 11, 2011 @ 10:33 am
It’s about time smoonee wrote about this.
August 16, 2011 @ 3:11 am
Play informative for me, Mr. internet wrteir.
August 17, 2011 @ 10:22 am
Always a good job right here. Keep rolling on throguh.
August 12, 2011 @ 10:44 am
I think you hit a bullseye there falels!
August 16, 2011 @ 7:07 am
At last! Someone who unedrstands! Thanks for posting!
August 17, 2011 @ 12:24 pm
You know what, I’m very much iclnneid to agree.
August 4, 2011 @ 6:55 pm
Let us keep Laurie in our prayers for her healing. The toll extracted is a heavy one; however, if she were to be called again as a caregiver, what do you think she would do….not a doubt in my mind!
August 5, 2011 @ 1:28 am
Thanks Al…. your right!
August 11, 2011 @ 6:27 am
No question this is the place to get this info, tahkns y’all.
August 12, 2011 @ 9:44 am
That’s going to make tinghs a lot easier from here on out.
August 11, 2011 @ 3:12 am
Thanks for the great info dog I owe you bggiity.
August 4, 2011 @ 12:43 pm
Just this morning I was reading a post by a favorite writer. She was describing her fear of cancer and the tests she’s undergoing now and the impending results, all compounded by too much familiarity in her family with what cancer brings with it.
If there is anything good we can say about this disease, it is that when we go through it with someone, anyone we love, it forever changes our capacity to find extra reserves to care and to give and to make that care-giving matter. In the real world, we do get sick and we do need care, often to inordinate degree; that we can come through the experience is a testament to our resilience; that we are able to care-give again and then again is a testament to how much love we hold inside. It is a more than a gift.
August 5, 2011 @ 1:51 am
I am so blessed with that gift Mo… I didn’t ask for it, but I have learned from it and in honor of those that have passed before me, I will “pay it forward”! LU♥
August 11, 2011 @ 6:21 am
I was sreiosuly at DefCon 5 until I saw this post.
August 12, 2011 @ 10:49 am
Now I’m like, well duh! Truly thkanufl for your help.
August 16, 2011 @ 3:18 pm
So excited I found this article as it made things much qiucekr!
August 17, 2011 @ 10:43 am
I can’t believe I’ve been going for years whitout knowing that.