I’m sitting in the chair NEXT to the chair I sat in so many days and nights at the Cancer Center.
This time I’m part of the support team trying to help in what ever way I can, a dear friend who is watching cancer create havoc, as it dances around her husband’s hospital room. Some hours the doctors and nurses are clearly worried when they make their scheduled visits….will he find the strength to get through this crisis? Other times, they actually exude hope that he will rally.
The up and down, roller coaster world of cancer weighs heavy on my friend and her family.
I see the worry as it begins to etch itself in fine lines around her eyes. This is a strong, pragmatic woman who has stood tall in this fight. But the long hours of standing by her guy, supporting him with words of encouragement, at the same time, protecting her kids from the sting of this disease, is beginning to weigh-in too.
The kids…a daughter and son, should not have to experience a life event like this…they should be anticipating the new school year, enjoying the last weeks of summer and hanging out with friends. Instead they find themselves hanging out with cancer.
Those of us who have been caregivers, have a “how to” book that can be very useful at a time like this and I’m trying to recite chapter and verse when it seems appropriate. I hope it can be of some help..some comfort…some guidance.
This family means a lot to me and it hurts in my heart to watch them in this struggle. Truthfully, this chair isn’t any better than the one I sat in for some many days and nights, so many years ago.
August 23, 2011 @ 1:03 pm
Having a calm and experienced person sitting in the “next chair” can really make a difference. I remember sitting in that chair too after my own ordeal.
The best lesson one can teach from that chair is patience. Cancer problems can drag for many years and the people involved must stay strong to see it through, no matter the result.
I believe the worst part is waiting and not the death itself (when and if it comes), so patience is really a blessing here.
August 22, 2011 @ 10:22 pm
If you live a life in the wider world, then you will experience many challenges that have something to do with serious illness. Al, I am so sorry about your friend, Margaret. When I visited a friend at the hopsital last week, I was surprised at how strong a feeling returned when I entered Providence Hospital, even though it’s been over seven years since my husband was a patient. My friend was a heart patient, waiting for a bypass opertion. It is very hard to drive by Scott & White Hospital in Temple, Tx., because my mother died there. But it’s always good to know that I have a place like this to land and share. Bless you Laurie, for standing by this family as you are blessling them with your presence.
August 22, 2011 @ 6:33 pm
You may feel helpless for today Laurie but your presence, your caring will register for them and will not be forgotten. Sometimes it is all we have to offer.
Sunday my friend Margaret passed away from lung cancer. She was the person I told you all how optimistic she was. She had renewed her car insurance even though she was in hospice. Wednesday will be her funeral. It’ll truly be a celebration of life. A more positive person you’d never meet. She fought as best she could for about a year but the beast was too much. She resides with her Lord and Savior and is at peace.
Not much for us to do except offer our prayers for those we lost and for those still in the fight. Let us hope our prayers are enough.
August 22, 2011 @ 12:43 pm
My friend T. begins today six weeks of radiation and chemotherapy for her malignant brain cancer. The strength of her faith and her determination (she hasn’t canceled her art exhibition in November) are amazing.
I will keep you and your friends in my thoughts and prayers. You are a model for us all.
August 22, 2011 @ 11:46 am
Betty
Sorry I left off your name on my post. When you respond to posts I sense your quiet steady calmness, you have been tried by fire. You are amazingly faithful. I wish I was like you.
Irene
August 22, 2011 @ 11:43 am
Whenever you respond to posts I can sense your quiet steady calmness, you have been tried by fire. You are amazingly faithful. I wish I was like you.
August 22, 2011 @ 9:29 am
I experienced this “up” and “down” roller coaster back in 1979 when my son had a brain tumor. It wasn’t cancer that time, but he contracted spinal meningitis and was hospitalized for 7 months. There were so many times when he almost died and then would recover somewhat until the next time. I found this much more wearing on the spirit, both patient and caregivers, than what I experienced going through cancer with my daughter and now with my husband. It just drains the spirit and sucks the strength out of you. I remember one time just yelling at God and saying “If you’re going to take him, take him and let him free of his pain and agony…stop playing games.” I keep your friend and his family in my prayers!!
August 22, 2011 @ 6:44 am
What better person to be “second chair” to this family than you. I know how difficult this must be for you with the floods of memories you must be having. A visit to the er with my daughter for a migraine last week was difficult as it brought back all the hours sitting in a hospital room. May Bruce gain some strength to help with his battle against this monster and all the tentacles it has. His family is lucky to have you to lean on…you are their pillar right now.