Once A Care-Giver….
We start out strong. We figure it’s going to be a long haul and we think we can do just about anything to help our loved one get through cancer. We’re the caregiver.
We know our days will change, our routines will be rewritten, but truth be known, we don’t have a clue what’s ahead for us or for them.
So, we listen to the doctors talk about the treatment and we take notes, and we try to ask informed questions that will result in answers that will give us a hint about how this disease will progress. We go to the various websites and try to become students of our specific cancer, but there are too many places to search and the information is so different we don’t know what to believe.
And we get stronger, because the demands of the cancer require us to raise our game. But we do that because we would do anything, anything at all.
We’re the caregiver.
We know there will never be a day off in this fight, but there will be “better” days and when we get a few of those, the world is an easier place to live. We recharge our batteries the best way we can, because something deep inside our heart says, “tougher days are coming” and we’re going to need every shred of energy to get through it.
Caregiving teaches us lessons no other life experience will ever provide. It gives us a glimpse at a side of life we would never see under any other circumstance.
If we’re unlucky in cancer and our care-giving ends with the death of our loved one, what do we do then? We’ve been care-giving for so long and it comes to such an abrupt end. It stops in a heart beat. What happens to us then?
I guess we would all answer that question differently. I can guarantee, because of what we’ve been through, we all see life from a different prism now.
And we are a strong bunch.
Once a care-giver…..
September 19, 2011 @ 2:22 pm
Today found my way back here after many months of not checking in but really missing those that have become close over the last 5 years. I was so glad to see the comments of those friends above, those friends that have helped me through some very rough periods in my life as a care giver. Kathie, I really connect with where you are as I have gone along trying hard to find my stride, I have to believe it will come some day…So glad to see you all there.
Dorothy
September 17, 2011 @ 8:58 am
Caregivers are like heroes…just ordinary people who are confronted with an overwhelming situation but rise above and do more than you’d ever think possible and have little regard for themselves. Trying to save another is the focus. May God continue to bless caregivers and heroes!!!
Caregivers all heal differently from their loss. It does take time for the pain to be pushed into the inner recesses so that life can continue. But I have no doubt, not one scintilla, that if ever needed or called upon, each caregiver would, without thinking, put on the harness of care, compassion and love once again to pull against the forces of evil and disease and go and do what is called for and necessary. Blessings to you all.
September 16, 2011 @ 8:41 pm
Mo and Kathy have you right on Laurie! Caregiving…I remember when! I look at where I was over three years ago and where I am now…who would have known! My life was changed in ways even I have trouble comprehending! Pay it forward…you bet, when ever, however I can…It’s a gift and one worth sharing! It’s something we don’t even think about, we just do!
Kathy, give yourself time…those three words they told me and I thought, their nuts! But time does heal, in a weird sort of way. I think the pain is always there, it makes us stronger, but it gets buried deep…so deep, to a place that we know we don’t want to go back to. We move forward to keep it away, we find a way to cope and we do it all in honor of the people we loved….
September 17, 2011 @ 8:41 am
Thanks for the encouragement Laurie. After almost 2 years it seems nobody around me wants to hear about it eventhough I’ve been careful not to “wear them out” with my grief.
September 16, 2011 @ 6:51 pm
The day I lost Jim I felt like my desire to do anything above what was necessary came to a screeching halt. I had spent all those years taking care of him and worrying about him and I’m just very lost I guess. I know I will find my stride at some point. I so admire you for your strength and your big heart….you truly know the meaning of paying it forward.
September 16, 2011 @ 5:36 pm
You continue to give to an extraordinary degree. Yours is giving that makes a difference every day.