What are we left with, once cancer rolls through our lives?
Does it do a hit and run and leave a ‘survivor’, does it hang-out, cause stress then retreat for a while, only to make another appearance years down the road, or does it hit hard and take a life? What’s the toll we pay?
I’m three years past the worst of the worst and I’m still trying to figure this out. I have a close friend, a “fellow widow” now who is just beginning her journey. I try to pass on the wisdom that it’s a slow unfolding of a different life, and I’m talking about the loss of your spouse, your sounding board. The person who listened when you needed to vent, the person who got your sense of humor, someone you could gripe to about the stupidest things and most serious matters too. This was the person you loved the most. Gone.
And, it’s the rest of the stuff I’m talking about too…what’s left of us?
I still get up in the morning with a huge list of things on the “to do” list. My days are filled with work and projects and friends and family, so why is it all different? Why does it FEEL different?
I read stories about people who have come through cancer experiences and they talk about how they’ve managed to fill-in the spaces of their lives and have moved on and I wonder, have I gotten ‘stuck’ in some sort of grief rut? I don’t feel like I have, but would I be the last to know?!!
You can’t tell me, these folks don’t feel different. Cancer kills more than your loved one.
Let’s be honest about this, please.