In some cancer centers around the country, when a patient finishes treatment, it’s a tradition to mark the occasion.  Leroy rang the gong downstairs in radiation after his last zap.  Everyone within earshot of the event, clapped and whistled, it was a nice celebration to say “finished at last!” 

He counted down those sessions with marks on the calendar.  He couldn’t wait to hear that big, lead door close for the last time…and frankly, neither could I. 

And then it hit us….no more doctors and nurses monitoring his condition.  At least not the way they did when he would come in for his treatments.  His appointments would be less frequent and he wouldn’t have the same round of tests that he had during those sessions. 

He was considered “better” until he wasn’t.  So he tried not to think the bad thoughts.  What if the cancer was running wild again inside him?  Who would know?  Would it be too late to do anything when it was discovered?  At that particular time in his cancer journey, he really was enjoying a cancer break.  He tried not to think about being untethered from the cancer center, but it took some doing.

 You never really lose the fear of  relapse do you? 

 A friend who has been cancer free for many years, says even though she lives a very full life now, she’s waiting for that other shoe to drop.  And it’s been more than ten years of clean scans! 

There’s just no escaping the “C-grip” is there?  Free from treatment, but not from fear.

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