Getting Through It..


It might be time for a little reflection. 

It’s been three and-a-half years since Leroy died.  

I was out for my walk late this afternoon, the air was heavy with leftover moisture from the rain earlier today.  The clouds were busy pushing themselves to the north and the sunset on the horizon was a muted red-orange glow.    The days are finally getting longer and for that I am so grateful.  I like long days and shorter nights. 

I think a lot about Leroy in the evenings.  Does that sound strange?  I do…Maybe it’s because I rewind through the day and there’s usually something that has happened that I would have told him about or called him to share.  Even now, three and a-half years later.

Early-on in my grieving, that would make me so sad, but now, it’s much easier to handle.  It’s really true what they say about the “Stages of Grief.  So many of us know about that: Shock, Denial, Bargaining, Guilt, Anger, Depression, Resignation and finally Acceptance and Hope.

I don’t think they come in any particular order.  Some come all at once and I think some come, go and come again.  And I promise you this, there is no time table for any of these either.  Oh, I know many of us have had friends who think if we’re not over the grief in a year, somethings wrong, but that is just not true.

The acceptance and hope part of this list is probably the most important stage only because it’s the part where we all need to realize we’re never going to be the same again, but that’s OK.  Add on the “hope” part and that gives us new meaning in our lives.  WE can still have lives, is what I’m saying.  Good, happy, meaningful lives.

Unfortunately, the other stages come first and they aren’t easy.

Try to look at it this way…this is an old African Proverb: ” There is no way out of the desert, except through it.”

It’s been three and a-half years in the sand.

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