Face to Face With the Next Step
There are groups for just about everything you face when cancer steps into your world.
There are ‘coping with cancer’ circles you can join. They give you fair warning what’s likely to happen in the fight against cancer.
Care givers can join a group often run by social workers who are schooled in how to care for your loved one during treatment.
And if cancer takes a life, there are many different types of grieving groups available depending on where you fit. Every one mourns differently and there is not a one-size-fits-all grieving circle. It can depend on age, religion, family, no family, so many variables on this one.
So where does one go when they start to think about meeting new people, or getting back into a social world? Are there groups or guide lines to help a person take those steps?
I know some one who lost her husband to cancer and the thought of stepping back into a social setting has her paralyzed.
I’m not much help to her because I’ve just never ‘gone there’ and don’t really know when and if that will happen for me. I mean, I don’t sit at home with the covers pulled up around my head, but I haven’t gone where she’s thinking about going either.
So she’s in a quandary. She’s not about to join a website dating service. She’s not the type. And she’s too fragile for that kind of launch. She says she wishes there was some group she could join that would gently take her hand and help her back into that world. When you’ve had a long, solid relationship, then, gone through a devastating long-term illness and then a loss, it’s hard to just close your eyes and jump!
She needs to have her eyes wide open for this next step. It’s a big one.
April 4, 2012 @ 8:58 pm
Thank you, all, for your comforting words. The grace is knowing that K. died peacefully, not in pain, and with loved ones near. Her death has been especially difficult for my sister, who grew up with her. They knew each other for almost their entire lives.
April 4, 2012 @ 7:05 am
So sorry to hear of yet another loss Mo…………lifting
April 3, 2012 @ 10:01 pm
Mo, so sorry to read about your friend K.
The friend I mentioned who held a “living wake” for husband formed and runs a grieving group for those who have lost spouses. This is done through her church. She says that she has about 70 people who come to their get togethers. It has transitioned over the years to more of a social group but enables those who have lost loved ones to participate without any pressure. Some have even gotten married as a result of their meeting at this group. She remains single and content and busy but finds time to help others.
April 3, 2012 @ 8:08 pm
That’s a tough one for sure. I sometimes pull the covers over my head but I do work, go to dinner with my friends occasionally but the thoughts of seeking companionship is not really for me. I get terribly lonely but nobody measures up to Jim so…maybe someday. I wish her luck.
April 3, 2012 @ 5:42 pm
A decision that is for each individual, and never an easy one to make.
Our family friend, my sister’s best friend K., died on Palm Sunday. She never got the possible three weeks, never got through the one full week the doctors thought she might have. She died peacefully after her husband (who also has lost a sister to cancer) placed in her hands the palms he’d brought from the early morning’s mass. She blessed us all with her grace.
April 3, 2012 @ 8:01 pm
Mo..I’m so sorry for yet another loss.