Tomorrow is the last day of her chemo.
She’s done well handling the nausea, the tingling and the fatigue. It’s hard to say how she’s handled the thought of having cancer. No one will really ever know that part because most cancer patients don’t share their deepest feelings about having the disease. Everyone tries to be so strong when they’re going through treatment.
It’s just what we do…I guess it’s not cool to show how scared and vulnerable we feel.
So she talks mostly about how anxious she is for her hair to grow back. She has a beautiful wig and you can’t really tell it’s not the real thing. She ever has a set of bangs she can wear with hats and caps…the bangs look good too. But its not the real thing and until she can toss that wig in a drawer and forget about it, she just won’t feel whole. She won’t be all the way back!
What she will be able to do is ring a bell that will put her in a special group. She’s joining the club of the “completed.” Finishing with chemo, in many treatment centers, means taking a rubber hammer to a bell and announcing to the world, or at least the folks in the treatment center, that you are done…finished…over with chemo. HALLELUJAH!
This bell is so much more than just a bell. It screams “I’m allowed to begin my life again.”
I can almost hear the ringing in my ears…what a sweet sound.