I Miss That Other Voice…
When it came time to making changes in our household, we would both weigh-in. I mean really weigh-in. Opinions were heard, often and without reservation around here.
Recently I made some fairly big decisions on changing my kitchen. I’d been thinking about it for a long time, but I was kind of paralyzed, because truthfully, I didn’t have Leroy’s opinion to bounce-off of mine. I’m not suggesting that I always listened to what he had to say….I didn’t ignore him either…but I realized when it came to major purchases or changing the color of the house, anything that would affect both of us, we really did discuss it and usually agreed on the final decision. It was a process, but we got there.
The kitchen is completed now. I was lucky to have really good carpenters, electricians and painters. They came on time, finished the work when they said they would; it really was painless. Except for the pain of missing that other voice. I thought about how we would have mulled over what ovens to buy and how cool the new kitchen looks. He probably would have laughed at me for being so excited over a kitchen. And I’m probably silly for being over dramatic about missing that voice.
The entire project taught me that I can make the big decisions again. Time has given me back those tools.
But , I do miss that voice.
April 12, 2012 @ 8:30 pm
This made me realize how many day-to-day decisions are made with my husband’s input. But it is lovely to know that two of you have made a giant step and each of you have a new kitchen and Shasha, you have started a memorial garden. It all fits into the newness and hope of spring.
April 12, 2012 @ 7:07 am
This is coincidental, but I too just finished putting in a new kitchen. I found it was very difficult making decisions by myself. However, I had a great contractor who was nice enough to help me design my new kitchen. He knew I was a widow and offered to pick me up and take me to pick out my appliances, cabinets and even took me to the granite yard to pick out my counter tops. He composed a picture of what the kitchen was going to look like and put it on his laptop in order to show me the finished product. So I guess, I’m still not ready to make decisions on my own. Let’s enjoy our new kitchens………….lifting
April 11, 2012 @ 8:16 pm
You are not making a big deal of it. We became accustomed to making decisions together and it is scary to make them alone. It is not a sign of weakness…not sure what it is but it is difficult. Took me forever to decide to have new cabinets and countertops done and today 2 new trees put in to start my memorial garden…it’s tough. I know our big guys approve however. Enjoy the kitchen knowing that Leroy most likely guided a lot of your decisions.
April 11, 2012 @ 6:58 pm
Perhaps you heard Leroy’s voice but it spoke to you within your heart!! It was just as real as if he was speaking now. It is always good to stop, be quiet and listen…..listen closely…let your mind and heart open to the thoughts that come forward. The Big Guy is watching and is pleased with your new kitchen. Believe this for it is so. It only matters to you, Laurie, so embrace it.