They really are a part of us…forever.
All of your comments about the kitchen speaks volumes. These lives we once had are gone. We all understand that, but we also understand that you can take the ‘LIFE’ out of the couple, but it’s a lot harder to take the “COUPLE” out of the life.
Decisions about ovens, granite, tile and paint are just small pieces of a bigger life than each one of us built with our loved ones. I realize now, I never really thought about how many choices we made together. How natural it was, day to day, to get Leroy’s opinion. First of all, it mattered to me, what his opinion was, but it was also a great guidepost to lean on.
Al’s right, that big voice still echo’s deep in my heart and in my head. I’m grateful for those rumblings because it’s pulled me through some difficult days over the past few years.
Maybe this is the next step.
After going through all the struggles of loss and learning to cope without the Big Guy front-and-center, just knowing that I’ll be able to count on that voice, will be the next best thing to having him here.
It’s not perfect, but it’s all I’ve got and it helps.
April 13, 2012 @ 8:51 pm
It’s not that we were/are women who are incapable of making decisions without the man in our life guiding us and showing us the way. We made decisions together because it was so natural to want the other’s opinion. It is a heavy burden to realize I am the only one who will decide what car to buy or which chair I want, etc. While I am perfectly confident in making the decisions, I miss the togetherness of looking for just the right one for both of us. While I feel like I want to move forward I just can’t let go of the past just yet. It seems we all had good lives together and I am so thankful for this little group that Leroy brought together so that we may find comfort.