Uncomfortable Words
Cancer’s vocabulary is full of harsh words.
Words that make you sweat.
I was talking to a group of folks today, some who were former cancer patients and some who were and still are care-givers. We were talking about palliatvie care. That word “palliative” stuck in my throat. I wasn’t alone. One man even shrugged his shoulders and asked “What does it even mean?” “Can’t we come up with a better word, one that isn’t so intimidating?”
Good idea.
Palliative is a word that makes me sweat. I remember when I first heard it and I immediately made the leap from palliative to hospice. I found out I wasn’t alone. Many care-givers go there. Many cancer patients go there too. In fact, they think it’s what you get when the hospice nurse comes to call and explains how treatment changes from that point on, but that’s not right.
Palliatvie care belongs in the first phase of treatment. It is designed to help manage pain, nausea, treatment side effects. It’s about quality of life. And it’s not just a medical treatment helper, there are experts who are trained to help with depression and other psychological problems that come with fighting cancer.
It turns out some one who writes curriculum in med school has decided “palliative care” is an important piece of the cancer pie. The catch is, teaching young doctors how to deliver the message to their patients. If a doctor is suggesting palliative care, the news isn’t good and breaking that kind of news takes a special touch. You all know what I’m talking about. We all have memories of awkward doctors who couldn’t quite find the right words.
Palliative care is one of cancer’s harsh words. Just typing it makes me sweat.
May 4, 2012 @ 9:15 am
Words do have a meaning, as in the dictionary meaning, but in the cancer world, the same word carries a meaning that is not in the dictionary. How do you describe a patient’s current condition and hence the treatment or care plan? I’m sure the docs want to be honest and direct without excising any or all hope. Choosing the right words is the challenge. As a glass half-full guy, I latch onto any positive words that still give me reason to hope. I am also smart enough to assess my current condition and Stage as described in medical terms. The challenge for all of us…patient and caregiver…is to ask the questions, get clarification as to what it means today knowing that tomorrow it may change and know what the next steps are if there are any. Tip-toeing around the subject doesn’t serve anyone’s interest. But then before I leave the doctor’s office, I’d like to hear….” I know that the results are not what we hoped for. I want you to know that I’m here for you for the long haul through the good and the bad. Until the time comes if it ever does when you say, “I’ve had enough”, I’m here for you always.”
May 3, 2012 @ 7:55 pm
I too got that sick feeling just reading this because I can still see the oncologist standing in the room and saying it. I don’t know what would be better but palliative reminds me of palatable which means we should be able to swallow something with greater ease. That is not the case when you hear that in cancer world.