She’s been getting her chemo on a regular rotation now for many weeks. It’s knocked her down, but not out. She’s pushed back as hard as she can. Where she finds the strength, I just don’t know. She’s had nausea, fever, bone pain…discomfort is a nice word, but it hardly describes what this chemo has done do her life.
Once again cancer isn’t the issue, it’s the side effects of the disease that is making, what was once a rich, active life, turn into a battle of will over these powerful cell killing medicines. I always think back to Leroy’s blog he called “My doctors are trying to kill me.” He questioned whether the chemo would get him instead of the cancer.
So now this strong, young woman has been told she must postpone her next treatment for a few weeks. Her doctors want her to get stronger. They want her to try and get over these miserable side effects that have caused her body to scream “ENOUGH.”
She has no choice, but she’s wondering if she’s giving her cancer the green light to find new spots of opportunity to grow?
Her doctors say”don’t worry.” Her body says, “please, let’s take a break.” Her mind doesn’t know what to think.
Such a delicate balance in cancer world.
May 24, 2012 @ 10:19 am
Your post feels so familiar – it feels like my struggle during the chemotherapy, and being torn when treatment was delayed. I wanted it over, but also I wanted to run away. But she’s going to get through this, and then after that, the next mission is to rebuild strength. You can comfort her now, and motivate her then.
If you ever want to connect with other caregivers, you’re always welcome at our site. In any case, good luck with this journey and may this break bring her some space to feel more like herself, and less like a chemo patient.
May 24, 2012 @ 3:15 am
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