Emotions 101
Some days are just different. I can’t explain it and I’m not sure I want to understand how they know to be different, but they are. It’s happened every year since Leroy’s been gone. These “different” days begin just ahead of his birthday, which was Saturday and they’ll last through tomorrow, which is our wedding anniversary.
I call it my own personal “hell week.” These are hard times. I don’t walk around teary eye’d. I’m not one to mope. But something in my chemistry changes. I”m not as aware…not as sharp as I’d like to be. I feel like there’s something on my mind and I’m not quite sure how to resolve it. Does that make sense?
It’s obvious why I feel this way, but it never fails to sneak up on me.
Loss is a mystifying emotion. I’m convinced that once it’s planted in your soul, it’s there forever. I get that now…so I’ll prepare myself for next year. This change in life has a constant learning curve.
June 19, 2012 @ 6:54 am
I know exactly how you are feeling Laurie and my heart goes out to you. I was feeling the same way two weeks ago. It’s difficult to explain to others exactly what it feels like……..I just had this empty feeling with an ache in the pit of my stomach. I wish you peace and I will be thinking of you……….lifting
June 18, 2012 @ 7:12 pm
You are stronger than I to not have the tears to go with the “mopy feelings”. I wish you some peace during this week of what should be celebrations…they are still moments worth celebrating but it would be a happier one with Leroy by your side. I will be thinking of you as I have the same hell week coming next month.
June 18, 2012 @ 7:01 pm
It is OK to feel sad, to mope or even to rant if that’s your personality at this time. Be kind to yourself and know that you are loved, by all of us plus the Big Guy looking down!!