I’d like to acknowledge a woman tonight, who wore the hat of care-giver. Her husband had cancer. He died early this morning in a hospital bed. Cancer did not let go of him easily.
She never let go of him.
When he was diagnosed with bladder cancer, she was a busy mom in addition to building a successful career. But with cancer, careers seem to take on a secondary role. It would be there down the road. Now was the time to take care of cancer business.
She would email for guidance. Where to go, who to see, what did this term mean, how many opinions should we get? All the right questions. When treatment was prescribed, she’d ask, what can I do to make it easier on him?
As the disease progressed, it got harder. She’d put on her care-giver hat and hunkered-down. She did more research. She advocated for her man at every turn. She kept records. She checked and double-checked that his meds were right and if they were changing, she’d want to know why.
She never forgot about the love, either. The years they had together as a cancer free family. Those memories fueled her desire to do the very best for him now, when he needed her most. When hope was fading I received an email from her that said she was trying so hard to stay strong through this final good-bye.
That’s what care-givers find, even at the end, they find strength.
Time to take the hat off now…time to rest.
July 7, 2012 @ 7:20 am
My prayers go out to your friend. Somehow, someway, we all manage to find the strength to carry on. My mother used to always tell me ” God never gives us more than we can handle ” God Bless all the caregivers and all those who are still in the fight……….lifting
July 6, 2012 @ 9:25 pm
Laurie, thank you for this post…two weeks ago refrigerator broke $300.00, yesterday A/C broke $465.00 and today, my car broke in the middle of a busy intersection. Minimum for an alternator $350.00
Today, my friends came to help…. I finally asked. Hardest thing I had to do…. I broke down. Being tough is something I learned from Neil and his cancer. Today, I have been reminded how priceless friends can be, big shoulders to cry on.
Don’t forget Laurie, we are always here for you too… I am glad your friend has you. We know what it’s like to need help.
July 6, 2012 @ 7:36 pm
I’m so sorry to hear of yet another casualty of this awful war. I took my husband’s beloved little dog for a check up today and the vet and I talked about how I came to have her (we always do this). She was telling me that so many of her dogs play such a huge part in caregiving for cancer patients with their companionship. She said she sometimes she thinks she is just getting too old to see all this pain and suffering and does not know how much longer she can do it. We both were wiping tears and petting a loving little dog. I know you will be there for your friend and I hope she has her own support system in place. Laurie, I don’t know how you manage to keep yourself together for everyone but we are here for you to help you carry on.
July 6, 2012 @ 6:47 pm
So sad to read this. But we all knew that when the end came, the caregiver would be there, never wavering but doing what could be done or perhaps doing nothing but praying for a peaceful exit for a loved one. This story is repeated thousands of times each day not just due to cancer but for numerous reasons and maladies. There aren’t enough accolades to bestow upon the caregivers of this world. One comes to mind…selfless. May God bring her peace in this very difficult time.