Support is Half the Battle
A phone call, a hug, a hand written note and even an email….there are so many ways to reach out and support a friend with cancer.
I sometimes think we feel like we don’t want to intrude on a life involved in a fight with cancer, but we should. Support is so important. I just dealt with this issue, thinking this particular person lives a pretty private existence, so I kept my distance. Eventually and taking little baby steps, I offered my support and it was the right thing to do.
She is on the healing side of her cancer now and I’ve received notes of thanks and appreciation. Small suggestions of how to handle nausea or fatigue were used and with great success. It’s opened up a dialogue between us that has strengthened the friendship too.
If all goes well, she won’t need any more suggestions. But I’ll be there for her if she needs me.
Support at any stage is a good thing.
July 31, 2012 @ 4:32 pm
It can be an intimidating idea to give support. I think we don’t want to intrude – like you I’ve struggled with that question of whether or not to say something. But then looking back on my treatments, it’s the people who ‘said something’ that I remember most and for which I am thankful. If we’re capable, giving that support is really the best gift possible to a person going through cancer. I’m glad to hear your friend is doing well, and hope her health continues to improve.
July 31, 2012 @ 8:25 am
I have found that for those in the fight that often small steps are the best regardless of whether or not you know them. The small steps often let them know you care and that you are willing to help in whatever form or fashion takes….emails. telephone calls, visits, meals, prayers and prayer chains, etc.
Sometimes the small steps don’t lead to anything more but you’ve done what you could. Often the door is opened and you can walk into their lives to do even more. One never knows exactly what would be best to offer as support but I’ve always found that communicating with them let’s them know that you care enough to offer. Sometimes that ‘s all that’s necessary.
July 30, 2012 @ 9:36 pm
It is the little kindnesses that add up, the small gestures of support and of faith in you that allow you to keep going.
The family that lost their boy will remember all those kindnesses and it will help carry them through the grief.
July 30, 2012 @ 7:56 pm
I had several small bits of kindness, at least that is how the giver saw them, but they were huge to me and I am still warmed by them. I have been too guilty over the years of not intruding on people who are ill thinking they don’t want me bothering them. I’m sorry that I’ve done that but I hope I have learned a lesson from it. We lost a little 7 year old guy to brain cancer Sunday morning. I did not know him or his family personally but he became the child of several local communities. He was truly a warrior but his little body just could not take any more. My heart is breaking for his family but I know how huge their support system is and hopefully all of the acts of kindness will help. You helped your friend in small ways but they surely did add up to something big.