I’m convinced you have to go back before you move forward.

Unfortunately I have too many friends who have lost their spouses to cancer.  These were their best friends.  They shared so many years of love, happiness, sad times too.  I’m not saying it was all perfect and yes they had disagreements, like the rest of us, but they experienced life with these people.  They had plans to grow old with them. 

And when cancer came into these lives, it all changed except for the memories.  That was one thing cancer couldn’t steal.  What had been, would always be there.  Where they met; that place would always be special.  Favorite spots;restaurants, vacation spots, or neighborhood hang-outs; those doors would always be open. 

So I guess that explains why so many of my friends, who fall into this category are now returning to those places to remember.  We all feel the need to go back, before we can go forward.  I go to Maui every October as a way to reconnect.  We had some of our best days there and I have a little memorial on the beach that gives me such peace.  I truly hope in some way Leroy feels that peace too. 

Does it help me to move forward each year?  I think it probably does.  It’s not a “letting-go” act, it’s more like an exhale.  It allows me to take deeper breaths than the year before. 

Back to past to see a better tomorrow.

 

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