What He Taught Us…

This was the day, four years ago when we realized how many people had been reading, following and blogging on “My Cancer.”

Thousands of comments from all over the world were recorded on the website when word spread about Leroy’s death.  We thought  we knew that there was a solid following on the blog, but it turned out there were so many ‘lurkers’ who finally stepped out of the shadows to write a note of appreciation to a man who spoke from his heart and from his head about a cancer that would steal his life at the age of 53. 

I heard from so many of those folks again yesterday.  It was such a sad day for me, but the notes and emails helped pull me through the hardest hours. 

Leroy, how I wish there was some way for you to know just how much you taught us, as you were going through this life-ending ordeal.

I remember, when you started to dictate your daily blog to me because it was just too hard for you to sit at the computer.  I would stop sometimes, because it was too painful for me to hear your thoughts.  I’ve gone back into the “My Cancer” blog and reread so many of your entries.  It’s made me wonder, did your cancer struggle change the way you looked at life or did your life experiences before cancer mold these ideals, only to have the cancer make the final adjustments to these beliefs?

I will never forget the day we got the report on those final scans; the cancer had exploded and there was no more treatment.  You looked at the three of us in the exam room and said, “I’ve had a great life.”  “There’s no mountain I need to climb before I die…I’ve had great adventures.”  I could hardly breathe hearing you say those words.  Thinking back,  I’m convinced, that could have been the most honest statement I ever heard you make.

I learned so much from you during our life together, but that may have been the moment that stands-out the most.

I only wish you knew how much.

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