Where do you stow the emotions?

I knew where to put the old luggage tags.  I clipped his military ID to a chain that hangs near the computer, so I can see his face whenever I look to my left from the keyboard.  The old love notes are back in the plastic bag.  I followed the crease lines and folded them so they are back just the way I found them. The old photos are in the bag too. 

Where do I stow the emotions?

I told a dear friend today, about my discovery and his reaction was, “Great…more emotional weight on your shoulders.”  With tears in my eyes, all I could do was smile and agree.  I’m much better than I was four years ago, or even two years ago, but still, there are some triggers that send me over the top and yesterday’s treasures did the job. 

Was it holding those notes in my hands, wondering where Leroy was when he found them?  How did he react when he unrolled the pair of socks to find a little piece of home, of me, hiding in the folds? 

And those pictures; a glimpse of his life rolling across the desert in 2003, not that long before he’d discover his cancer had returned.  I was so worried about him then, but not about cancer, about the war and the threat of chemical weapons and would he step into harms way? 

So many emotions brought back by the discovery of this plastic bag. 

Everything in it’s place now…except for those emotions.



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