Another stage of “after”

Stop me if I’m wrong here, but I think I’ve discovered another stage of living with cancer after losing a loved one. 

We’ve all heard of the “stages of grief” and most of us have been face-to-face with our old nemesis;it’s not a fun place to be…but today, an old friend asked me how I was doing now that’s it’s been almost 4 1/2 years of widowhood. 

Interesting question

I guess I could have just said “OK” and left it at that, but he really wanted to know.  He asked if I was “happy.”  Again, not a “yes” or “no” answer.  I’m not sure what it means to be happy anymore.  I thought I did once, but that was when I was younger and life hadn’t reallly kicked-in yet.  It was a much simpler life and cancer hadn’t walked on stage yet.  Those were “happier” times.  Now??? I’m not sure how to define the word.

I did say, I’m slowly becoming more settled.  “It’s a process,” I said.  I think he finally got my meaning.

I certainly did..I”m in another stage of “after.”


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