Happy 2013…sweet beginnings…resolutions…single words…whatever it takes to launch the start of this new year, I hope it brings us all healthy adventures and positive results.
I had an interesting comment come my way over the Holidays; an acquaintance wondered if I lived “too much in the past?” She was referring to Leroy, of course and remembering too many stories of our time together.
It’s pretty easy in many conversations to connect to the past with him. We were together 25 years and we did share a very interesting life together. Even in our individual travels, which we shared most nights with long phone calls or even short ones, just to say “Hello,” there was always some little tidbit we shared about the day. Even at home, on one of those regular days, after so many years, stories do add-up.
Is it unusual for a person who has lost his/her spouse to recall those times together? Or maybe it’s not cool anymore to share those times with others?
Maybe this person was saying in a round-about way;”Time to move on.”
Does this mean I have to leave that life behind? I don’t feel like I’m living in the past. Remembering it at times, doesn’t mean I’m living there..but I do admit, I like to visit every once-in-a-while.
January 3, 2013 @ 11:17 am
Love doesn’t come with a timetable.
January 3, 2013 @ 8:33 am
I don’t think any of us are living in the past. After reading our posts for the last five years, we have all come a long way………..God knows we didn’t have a choice. But, we all made it through the suffering and pain together and we could not have done this without sharing our most private thoughts and memories with each other. As far as ” Time to move on”…………we are all moving on in our own way and at our own pace…………Lifting
January 3, 2013 @ 1:36 am
People who say those things have never experienced losing their soul mate…you move on.. You move forward but you remember the parts of your past that bring you joy! Whether it be your spouse, a child hood friend or some memories from long ago. Kathy said it best.. Only one person gets to decide…
Neil’s best friends said the same thing to me 6 months after he passed.. I even had one of his friends say they wouldn’t come to his 1st year celebration..said they celebrated his life at his funeral! Trust me Laurie… If any of us here know about moving on… We do! None of us has had any other choice! Be proud of the torch you continue to hold high for all of us… Who knows, maybe one day you will be ready to pass it on…
January 2, 2013 @ 10:54 pm
When my newphew died, my brother expressed to me his fear that his child would be forgotten. He was only seventeen and did not have a chance to really live a full time. I think we all benefit from remembering and sharing stories about those we love and miss. It’s good to include that person in celebrations as we honor them by keeping their memory present.
January 2, 2013 @ 6:44 pm
I am just beginning to be comfortable sharing stories that include mentions of Jim. It was just too painful to bring his name up and talk about a happy time. I don’t think we live in the past…it is simply part of who we are. Only one person gets to decide when it is time to move on.
January 2, 2013 @ 6:15 pm
I found a ceramic plate on Pinterest that says, “Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.” As a relatively recent widow (my husband died in August 2011), I need this reminder. In the early 90s, Musa Mayer wrote a book originally titled, “Holding Tight, Letting Go” (now Advanced Breast Cancer). I believe these words fit so many of life’s challenges and losses. And so many of us are walking this tightrope seeking balance.
January 2, 2013 @ 6:12 pm
Every one gets to live their own life. Leroy was your touchstone, it is not living in the past to remember and cherish those memories..You are the only one who can know what you need and when you need it.