Do you ever really get past the haunting of cancer?
When Leroy was N-E-D he hit the “resume button” and went back to living life with the same crazy schedule at work, the same appointment TV, we went back to visiting our favorite restaurants and the pace was the pace of a BC (before cancer) life.
There really were days when I didn’t think about colon cancer. That may have been naive, when I think back on it now, but with clean margins and clean lymph nodes and his quick, easy healing, the signs all pointed in the right direction.
We always held our breath when it came time for the check-ups, but those brought good news too, so I got used to those dates on the calendar.
The thing that bothered me the most; the twinges. You know what I’m talking about….those little aches and pains that before cancer could be attributed to taking a bad step on a sidewalk, or a stiff neck from sleeping the wrong way. After cancer, any little ache and I immediately got worried. Was the cancer back, only to tease us by presenting itself as a pain in the back or a swollen ankle?
So many friends now are on the other side of their treatment. They are trying to get back to living their BC lives just like we did. And I’m hearing those same fears echo in their thoughts. When I ask how they are doing, the answers come in different words, but the message is always the same;”I’m fine…until I’m not.”
The haunting of cancer is so real.
I try to remind them that sometimes, a twinge is just a twinge.