“It all changed in a phone call”

“It all changed in a phone call.”

That’s what my friend said to me today and I felt the hurt, the pain and the weariness in every syllable of that sentence.  She’s trying to rebound from her diagnosis of breast cancer, her multiple surgeries and follow-up procedures.  She’s about five months down the road from the phone call that changed her life forever and she’s been brave beyond words, but that call is haunting her. 

She also said “I’m feeling good now” multiple times in our conversation.  Was it meant to make me less worried about her or maybe she thought if she said it enough times, she would finally convince herself? 

She’s about to go in for round 4 of surgery.  A cosmetic undertaking that is necessary and will involve weeks of healing.  I can hear the fatigue in her voice when she talks about it; almost like an exhale of energy.  She knows this will help make her “whole” again, but she’ll have to dig deep to find more courage and stamina to get through it. 

“It all changed in a phone call.”  The “You have cancer” news. 

No matter how it’s delivered the words echo inside the mind forever. 

I feel so badly for her and I feel helpless at the same time. 

Sometimes a show of support falls short of its goal. 

Sometimes no matter what the message, it’s just not enough.

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