Not in my wildest dreams would I imagine a gathering where a handful of friends…women, would sit at my table…all widows.
All but one, find themselves in this place because of cancer. We are not old ladies. There will be no one at the table over the age of 62. They were all married to men who had solid careers, solid lives. Good guys too! They were all married many years and by all rights, had many happy years to go. They were supposed to grow old together. That was the plan.
Cancer made us care givers. Some were care givers for multiple years, others watched as cancer moved swiftly and took their loved one sooner.
We are all in different phases of grief. I’m hoping we can help each other face our worst times and share in our best times. We still smile and we still laugh and hopefully we will concentrate on that as the evening unfolds.
Most of all, I hope we can look at each other and in a glance, send the message that we are here for each other. Widows….all
March 1, 2013 @ 3:05 pm
A man I work with lost his wife to cancer recently. I don’t know how to reach out to him.
February 28, 2013 @ 8:28 pm
Do widowers also gather like we women? I can’t help but wonder, but I hope they do. The support that can be provided without having to say a word. . . it’s precious.
March 1, 2013 @ 10:18 am
I should clarify that I am not a widow.
What I mean to convey is my sense (based in my own experience) that many women open themselves to each other more easily than do some men, and this ability to be transparent helps alleviate the depth of pain we feel in loss. I don’t know of any groups for siblings who have lost a sister or a brother to cancer, which is an experience different from losing a spouse or partner and also different from losing a child, and that is why our group here has been so helpful to me. The distinctions don’t take precedence; it’s what the loss does that remains so clear.