Support means everything…
One of the “never say this to a newly diagnosed cancer patient” is the statement “I know how you feel.”
It’s impossible to know how they’re feeling.. But for those of us who have been front row care givers, it is OK to say that to another care giver. In fact, I think it’s important to reach out and offer to help with some guidance.
We all remember where we were when the world turned upside down. We were ‘newbies’ at that moment, but not for long.
Chemotherapy orientation was a blur. Talk of radiation and its effects were scary. ‘ Gamma Knife’ was modern medicine that filled pages of my notebook. I had so many questions for so many doctors, they didn’t know what to make of me! The same went for the surgeries and the ‘RFA’ (radio frequency ablation) that turned Leroy’s lung tumors to ash. How did that work? I needed to know every detail.
But with all this information came knowledge and as the months and years moved along, it all came in very handy. Some of it was as simple as noticing a change in behavior that signaled a raging staph infection. Care givers are always on alert.
I carry this book of cancer care giving in my head still and I’ve been able to share it as a means of support to many who are just entering this frightening place.
Support on so many levels is a must when fighting cancer. Support means everything.
March 27, 2013 @ 4:54 pm
The none exception, I have found, is when the one saying “I know how you feel” is one who has already been diagnosed with cancer. In that case, the existing patient likely has a good idea as to ho the new patient “feels.”
March 27, 2013 @ 4:36 pm
Laurie, you are absolutely correct…support is essential BUT as you know, the newly diagnosed and their caregivers often don’t know that they need support and guidance to navigate the cancer world. Hence, sometimes one must offer to help, then offer again and offer again….by then they have discovered that they can use some support. It is often a case of “we don’t know what we don’t know”. And sometimes they think that the doctor is going to provide everything they’ll need to know….not a chance but they still look to their doctor.
Hopefully, you’ve made a difference at Hopkins in trying to support, educate and inform not only the patients, caregivers but the doctors and nurses as well.