Loss and Living…

Learning to live again after losing a best friend, spouse, partner, husband is a long and difficult task.  I really never thought I’d be able to get past the unbearable hurt that came with thinking back on my life with Leroy. 

Yesterday, he was in my head all day. 

If yesterday had happened three or four years ago (and it did for months at a time), I would have been a mess for days.  But here I am, a few months shy of  five years since his death and I’ve come so far down the road, that I’m able to corral those thoughts and though they still make me sad, I can take those vivid images and think about them all day without going down a lonely road.

If you are traveling my road of cancer and loss, don’t ever believe any one who tells you there is a time limit to healing.  Each one of us carries our own clock and I promise you it is “self-winding.”

Leroy’s always going to be in my heart.  Some days he finds a way to jump out and land directly in my minds’ eye.  The good news is, I’m beginning to understand that that’s OK…He’s welcome there any time.

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