We all go through our first few years of learning to live with our loss differently. To tell you the truth, I’ve never really used the term “widow.” I know that’s what I am, but looking in the mirror, I can’t make that connection.
I certainly know what Mendy means when she says her heart shattered into a million pieces and she feels so alone now. She may have those same feelings years from now too. The heart is slow to mend. Each one of those shattered pieces is a memory. Don’t sweep them up.. Keep them close, they help you heal.
And Kathie, plan B is really plan A with a missing piece. At least, that’s how I look at it. When ever I face a challenge, I still stop to listen for that deep, decisive voice. It wasn’t that I always agreed with what Leroy said, but at least he had an opinion that helped me weigh the facts and I’d like to think, I’d have a pretty good guess as to what side of the fence he’d land on. It might be a little game I play, but if it helps, I say use it.
Ultimately, you get to the place where you have the strength again to make your own decisions.
Time, strength, healing and courage get you there.
That’s part of the recipe for “keepin’ on”….full measures of each, to say the least!
April 25, 2013 @ 6:10 pm
Laurie,
I believe it was in your blog that I read the phrase “another stage of after.” To me that is a perfect way to describe where I see myself as I move through each hour, day and month of life without him–now 20 months. There’s also a wonderful quote from Mary Anne Rademacher: “Courage does not roar. Courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.'” I found it when I was going through cancer almost 20 years ago and it fits my new status as a woman whose husband is with me in heart and spirit but not in person.