They walked in the door already wearing their badges of courage. These couples are fighting pancreas cancer, one of the hardest cancers to overcome. It “used to be” that a diagnosis of pancreas cancer was a short and painful prognosis. None of these couples were new to their disease. Treatment, surgeries or clinical trials has given them at least a year of quality life. Research is discovering crucial elements of this cancer and these patients tell that story as they arrive for a couples retreat that will educate, empower and even entertain them for a long weekend.
They are alive and full of hope. Their hope won’t let death in the door.
I watch as they sign-in….the care-giver and the patient. They protect each other and even though another couple is there to sign-in behind them, they barely acknowledge one another. Fighting cancer is a lonely fight; sharing is limited.
But as the weekend moves along and experts come in waves to share information about nutrition, the importance of physical activity, legal issues and cancer or new treatment discoveries on the horizon, it strikes me the real gift of this time isn’t this wealth of knowledge….it is the simple act of 9 couples sitting next to one another and sharing this journey of fighting this disease. Their privacy walls crumble, they share stories, experiences;good and bad, and they find support in new friends they never knew they had.
They are renewed in their fight. They find the strength to build on the hope they refuse to relinquish.
They find strength in the next chair….
June 11, 2013 @ 9:37 pm
I was Mr. Chatty, sit next to me, if I sensed you were strong enough and willing, I’d try to get you talking.
I was always looking to that other chair for support, for insight, for easing of the pain and drudgery of chemo and radiation.
I was always willing to give that support too.
After all who knows better what you’re going through than someone who’s going through it too.
June 11, 2013 @ 9:05 pm
I think these retreats are an amazing gift to cancer patients and their caregivers. It is so hard to voice the fears to each other but in a room of people, who are just like you, it breaks down some of those walls. I salute all of you who are doing this.
Al..you and your daughter are making this woman’s life a little brighter when you visit..not something she probably has most days.
June 11, 2013 @ 6:54 pm
It is wonderful that these couples can be together for a time. As they look around, they come to realize that they are not alone. Sometimes being isolated and unable to share your fears and pain is just debilitating. A lady, my daughter and I deliver meals to for Meals on Wheels each Friday, is fighting a lonely battle against pancreatic cancer. She has been in the fight for over a year. At first she was reluctant to engage us in conversation. So we did the talking. We let her know that we cared about her and that we would pray for her healing and that we’d be back in next Friday to see her. She warmed up to our visits. She is now a friend so we spend some time talking with her about us, about her current situation and mostly trying to let her know that there are people, who are nameless and faceless, but are praying for her each day. It lifts her spirits. Some days are really tough on her (chemo days). Some days she has energy and is ready to talk. She looks forward to our visits.
Most of us have been blessed to have someone by our side during our trials. There are those who are fighting the battle alone. If you know someone who is alone mostly, reachout, even though they may push back initially, cause they will appreciate a familiar face and a voice of encouragement and hope. We deliver to a senior center to about 14 people. Each has a story. It is such an uplifting experience. If you have a couple of hour each week, consider Meals on Wheels. You won’t regret it.