Ever heard of “Back-Up Hope?”
We live in hope’s shadow when we live in cancer world.
We hold on to every ounce of hope there is, because it is what gets us through the really tough days. Hope is there on the good days too. In fact, it is on the good days when we can replenish our hope. Good news pushes more hope into our heart and we get a boost that’s better than a B12 shot!
We walk in the doors of a chemo room or prepare for a radiaiton treatment and hope steps-in ahead of us. When we’re under the cover of darkness, trying to quiet our mind and find some peace, hope can soothe the way.
Then, for some of us, the cancer begins to move and grab at that hope. Our doctor gives us the news that treatment options have run out and it’s time to think about palliative care or even hospice care.
Have we run out of hope?
At this retreat I mentioned yesterday, where couples living with advanced pancreas cancer attended over the weekend, there was a session with the Chaplain of the Kimmel Cancer Center. She talked about the different types of hope. She and I had a conversation about having “back-up hope.” This is a concept I wish I had thought about when Leroy and I were dealing with the final phases of his cancer. “Back-up” hope is what you need….what you must have when your original “hope” begins to fade. Your ideas for how you want your final weeks of life to be..the final days…the final day. “Back-up” hope says you’re not giving-up or giving-in, you’re making a transition. If you’re religious, your “back-up hope” will be defined in your beliefs too. If not, maybe it leans more to the spiritual side of your mind.
It’s an interesting way to look at the concept of hope.
Back-up or not…Hope gets us through the hard parts of this journey.
June 13, 2013 @ 7:55 pm
Hope is a very funny thing..you are told your disease is going to take your life but you must have hope. I struggled with this and things that maybe should have been discussed weren’t because I refused to give up hope. I saw it as a betrayal. The widow’s camp I recently attended addressed that in a different way. When life takes your Plan A away from you, don’t just go to Plan B but make a new Plan A. I guess I still feel like it is still my back up plan, my Plan B no matter what but I must not give up hope because that is my reason for getting up each day. I find it a very confusing topic….hope.
June 13, 2013 @ 3:31 pm
Since my original diagnosis, Hope has always been a strong part of my treatments physically, mentally and spiritually. Lance Armstrong’s book..It’s Not About the Bike..was so helpful to me. Lance said and I’m paraphrasing….always leave room in your heart for Hope. I did and have since. When I wrote the Room of Hope, I focused on my feelings as I first entered the chemo room. I know that it is often a dreaded place full of sickness, fear and pain but for me it was also a place where Hope lived if I chose to believe it and I did.
Did Hope bring me through the many trials and tribulations? Did the doctors bring me through…the drugs..radiation, etc? Did my faith affect my well being? YES to them all. I’ve always believed that it is better to have Hope in spite of all predictions or tests or opinions. I don’t mean it in a pollyanna-ish way but in a quiet, confident way that conveys to all “this is how I choose to live my life in spite of the odds”.
When I was weak in body and spirit and faltering, faith and prayer were both my primary and secondary plans. I knew that I couldn’t do it alone so I ask for help numerous times each day and night. My prayers calmed my soul and my mind so that sleep and peace could prevail for at least a short time. So as I got better, I continued my prayers numerous times each day and night. As the saying goes “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. This is my plan. Simple yet powerful.