I made the call at 12:22 pm this day, five years ago.
It was the first of many life changing events that would unfold in the week ahead.
Leroy asked me to make the call to Hospice.
We had talked about it many times. We had a woman from a Hospice center come to the house months before and talk to us about preparing for Hospice. It was so hard for either one of us to think about reaching that day, but here it was. I can see him looking at me, with tears in his eyes, saying the words and I can see myself looking back at him, with tears in my eyes, saying “Yes, I will make that call.”
He wrote about it that day on the “My Cancer blog:”
” We finally made a decision. We went back and forth for a while, but in the end we signed up with hospice. It wasn’t an easy decision, but we think it was the right one. This isn’t easy for either one of us. For me, it means managing what remains of my life. For Laurie, it means allowing others to manage what remains of my life. Something she is very uncomfortable with…
We can always change our minds, but once the decision was made, that becomes harder.
Like it or not, we’re in this together now.”
Everyone reacts differently when it comes to Hospice. Maybe we all need something so unique from it, our experiences are so different. As I look back on it, ours was a difficult fit. By the time he made the decision to ask for Hospice, his cancer load was heavy, and his life was winding down.
We were both feeling the cancer load that day.
Making that call will stay with me forever. 12:22 pm, August 9, 2008….”Hello, I’m calling about Leroy Sievers….”
August 9, 2013 @ 7:51 pm
Lifting Laurie..those days were so difficult..
August 9, 2013 @ 7:15 pm
Many assume that hospice is only for the dying and that is usually the case. As we all know, the load gets unbearable and it is a noble thing to ask for help. It seems that you’d never bring hospice in because you are admitting and your loved one is acknowledging that the end is near. But I still believe that it is a lovely thing to do so that you can focus on the really important things, like holding each other, talking about the memories of long ago, listening to music or even clarifying the “next steps” while others do what must be done.
I have 2 ladies on my Meals On Wheels route who could use hospice now and their death is not imminent. One has pancreatic cancer and has been told that there is nothing to be done. The other one is very frail and her mental state is not good so she forgets to take her medicine for acute shingles pain plus she cannot physically get to her doctor for help. Hospice could really help these two now. Their families don’t seem to visit at all so they are alone, lonely, afraid and often in pain. Hospice would be a godsend for them for some very simple yet important tasks that they cannot do or forget to do. I am not supposed to intervene because i am not a relative but I drop little hints and suggestions as we visit each Friday plus I’ve asked one of our ministers to come along and if appropriate, pray with them. The minister is seeking a lady from our church to come in once a week to help the cancer patient “de-clutter” her life as she says. Hope that this happens soon.
If we widen our circle, we’ll uncover people who are in need now. Hospice is just one alternative and a very good one.
August 9, 2013 @ 11:06 pm
And Al, Palliative care works well for cases like these too…before Hospice is needed.
L.
August 9, 2013 @ 4:57 pm
I also made a call around this time: about 12:15 AM on Aug. 11, 2011. It was to 911 to tell the officer that my husband had collapsed and died. Impossible to believe two years are almost here (and almost 4 months since someone else called me to tell me my adult daughter had died). Amazing what we remember and how we have changed since then. But the sadness and most of the memories never leave us.