A Team Effort
I was in the company last night of a couple who have been dancing the cancer war dance since 2004. That’s right, 2004.
He is the care giver and she is the warrior and I do mean warrior. Many times over the years I have heard from other friends that she would probably not live much longer. Her cancer, even though in a ‘controlled location’ had caused her many setbacks and it looked like she would not push through a certain crisis. Where she has found the grit and stamina to survive comes from the guy who stands by her day and night.
He is a husband, father, man of God who preaches and prays and clearly has created an open dialogue with his God.
Watching the two of them, as a couple, wrangle their four year old, is a sight to behold. The fatigue that has built up over the years of treatment is weighing on “Mom” this late evening and as any 4 year old would do, this little girl can sense her mother’s weariness. But before she can ask for five more minutes of hanging out with the adults, Dad scoops her up and away they go upstairs, a bedtime story awaits, and dreams of more playtime at daybreak.
Mom is ‘saved’ by her man. Again.
She wears a pain pump now, a sign that palliative care has been added to her treatment plate. Also a sign that her cancer has spread. NO one is fooling themselves, the cancer load is growing.
She’s faced big obstacles before and this time will be no different. She has her best pal by her side to help in the fight. He’s ready to do what is necessary.
These are team players.
September 3, 2013 @ 8:23 pm
It breaks my heart to hear that cancer has invaded a home where children live!
September 2, 2013 @ 7:49 pm
What a lovely post, reminding me that dying has so many lessons to teach us about living.
September 2, 2013 @ 9:54 am
“In sickness and in health. In good times and bad times” So nice to see commitment and vows in action…..refreshing in our seemingly disposable society.
Pardon me if I’ve told this before….in my delivering Meals on Wheels, one of my recipients was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She is a very private person, nice but kept everything close to her. Over this last year my daughter has begun to go with me and she has gained her confidence and she has opened up to us. She is alone, estranged from her sisters who live about an hour away, has very little monetary resources and must take the free city bus to get to her doctor’s appts. We have spoken about faith, God, prayer and its power with her. She is a believer but cannot attend church due to immobility. I asked one of our ministers if she would come with us to meet her and spend a little time with her. Perhaps a relationship could be established between them. This happened. Now we’ve all decided that for whatever time she has left, we’ll do our best to support her…grocery shop, take her if needed to doctor’s appts. and just to deliver her meals and spend time with her. Amazing the change in her….she looks forward to our visits, our talks and is grateful that she has some support for what lies ahead. This experience has been a real blessing to us all as well and eye-opening. We always assume that everyone has someone to help them through the difficult times. It is not always the case. If you see someone who is in the battle, ask what, if anything, you can do for them and give them some ideas…grocery shop, prepare meals, do laundry. The next time you see them, ask again, and again. You may be surprised that over time, they know that you are sincere and will allow you into their world.
I tell you all this not for pats on the back or look at what we’ve done. We could have just as easily delivered her meals and not gotten involved or persisted. I am so glad she allowed us into her world so that we may help her as best we can. We won’t change the outcome but hopefully, we’ll help make her journey easier and she’ll know that we really do care and that she is not alone.
September 3, 2013 @ 7:54 am
AND…she’s in the BEST hands too, Al!!
Laurie
September 3, 2013 @ 8:23 pm
Al…God bless you and your daughter. You have given this woman a gift that will make her days, however many are left, something to look forward to instead of dreading how she will make it through.
August 31, 2013 @ 7:52 pm
I am always awed by our capacity to care for one another. In their case I would stand head bowed in honor of their commitment to each other.
I hope they gather the grace and peace his and hers determination, strength and stamina deserve.