Taking care of the care giver

How do we measure up as care givers?

Do we do enough for our loved ones?  Are we afraid we fall short of our mission?  Care giving is not something we studied, it’s not something we were prepared for, in fact, just the opposite, we were caught unprepared.

And who is the better care giver: a man or a woman?

This all came up in a conversation with a husband who is caring for his wife, who has metastatic pancreas cancer.  He has a professional life and now he has the life of a care giver.  He’s a care giver who is marching to a new drummer and it’s a forced march too.  He’s taking on the legal issues, he’s scouring the web for information on his wife’s disease and he’s looking for any magic treatments that might give her a longer life.

He’s put his life on hold, while dedicating every waking minute to her needs.  When I asked him if he’s taking care of himself, he said there’s no time.

Spoken like a care giver who hasn’t realized YET, that if he doesn’t take care of himself, he won’t be able to take care of the love of his life for very much longer.

Sound like any one you know?

Care givers learn the hard way, don’t they?

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