As long as we’re talking about our new normal and how hard it is to find it and stick with it, there’s something to be said about getting back in the game too.
The game might mean different things to different widows and widowers, but the awkwardness of taking steps to re-enter it still remain.
There’s the social aspect of the game. Meeting new people, even going out and diving back into the dating game. That sounds like a horror show to me, but I have friends who have taken those steps; some have found it kind of fun and exciting, while another spent the whole night comparing her dinner partner to the husband she’d lost to cancer a few years ago. She came to the conclusion that she may not be ready for another date any time soon.
On a more practical side, getting back into the game at work can be hard too. Cancer changes your rhythm. Cancer changes how you look at your work, even how you look at the career you’ve built with hard work and sacrifice. It puts life in a new perspective and how work fits into that life. After a long battle with cancer and the loss from it, career tends to slip a notch or two on the ‘most important’ list. It’s still a necessity but searching for that old rhythm that put you at the top of your game can be hard to find again.
Bottom line…new normal…getting back in the game…finding that old rhythm….it’s going to take a lot of time and a lot of patience.
We’re different people now, so I guess the game will have to change to fit the new us.