Hold on Laurie, and any one else going through what I call cancer flashback.
It goes away, the pain, the anger at the loss, the frustration that you, as the care giver did everything you could to ‘make it better’ but you really had no control; all the emotions that come with dealing with cancer, they ebb and flow as the time passes, but some days, the worst of it washes over you and all you can do is hold on.
There’s so many after-thoughts that you wish you could change, but you can’t. There’s so many things you would have done differently, but it’s too late for that too.
In truth, you probably did everything the best way possible, there just wasn’t going to be a right way or a better outcome.
So when the days come that put you in a funk, or make you feel guilty, or just make you feel so sad….all you can do is hold on.
I know your pain. I feel your pain. And I promise you, it will ease-up and you’ll be OK.
Just hold on.