The future….

Leroy looked into the future many times in his cancer journey.

When he first heard the words, “You have cancer,” he wondered if he should buy a new shirt, new shoes or new slacks, ever again.  Why bother, he thought, he had cancer.

When the ‘Harry Potter’ books came out, he powered through the first two, but his cancer was making a move when the release of the third book was announced and he wondered about being here to read it.  He was one of the first to order it and read it in one sitting.  The future was now.

We were forced to look to the future because of his cancer and got busy with advanced directives, wills, and all the things that come with a terminal diagnosis.

One of the hardest parts of looking ahead, was the part about ‘us.’  Our plans for the future were doused by this brutal disease burning through him.

Cancer is a future crusher.

I’m thinking back to a conversation I had with a friend of mine who is no longer with us.  Cancer; Leukemia took his life a couple of years ago.  We were sitting on a couch talking, looking ahead and he was allowing himself an emotional moment. He saw his son, a budding baseball player, showing all the signs of maturing into a great young man.  And his daughter, a couple of years older, just on the cusp of blossoming into a beautiful young woman.  Would he be here to see the new chapters of their lives unfold?  As much as he wanted to keep that hope alive, he knew better.

But this Dad’s dreams of the future are today’s realities.  He was right about both his kids.  They are growing and moving on and tasting life as they should.  His daughter is  super-smart and college bound and his son is a solid student and super athlete.

He isn’t here for their “future” at least not physically, but he’s in their hearts forever.  And that’s not something cancer can ever crush.

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