What should we call them?
So many former cancer patients, who are living as close to their B.C. (before cancer) life as possible no longer want to be called “survivor.”
Is there a better label? Maybe that’s the problem, they don’t want to be labeled at all.
Survivor says you have endured. You have pulled through, out lived, even weathered a terrible storm. If these explanations don’t team with a cancer diagnosis and treatment, what does?
Survivor is not a negative. In cancer world, it teams with courage and bravery and a lot of luck too.
For those who have been through the hard times cancer serves up and can get back to a full life with family and friends, I say “Way to go.”
I also say, “I’m so glad you survived.”
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May 21, 2014 @ 9:15 pm
Eleven years ago I did not imagine that my husband would survive colorectal cancer. To this day, I don’t believe that he did something right and those who lost their lives did something wrong. Even though it’s been a considerable time period, the fear of cancer returning has not quite left us. So that is one reason a person might be reluctant to use the word “survivor.”
May 21, 2014 @ 8:08 pm
I just hung around long enough and got lucky enough to be a survivor. Really I just got lucky, I took all that could be poured into me, I took all the radiation and chemo together, I took more chemo and I lived.
I did promise, to myself, I would try to live as fully as gracefully as I could for all those that did not survive.
I am proud to be a survivor. You may call what ever you wish but survivor is what I most fond of.
May 21, 2014 @ 1:51 pm
You know, Laurie, we may have “discussed” this before between “My Cancer” and “Our Cancer”, but I still find it interesting.
Those who have lost loved ones to cancer and the patients who have survived it and/or areliving with it really are in parallel universes. The general topics are how we want to be referred to and how others treat us, and to me, it all comes down to human nature.
How to refer to us. As a former patient/patient, I am proud to be called a survivor, but can see how others would want to be passed that label. It’s “fun” to be able to forget/ignore the fact that cancer has ever been in your life once you are through with treatments and get back to your “normal”. Were I in your shoes and those of so many others, I can only barely imagine how much more difficult it is to deal with a label. There is the emotional versus the “legal”. As always, my heart and strength go out to you all.
How to treat us. Yes. This is so-o individual to the person who is addressing us. I am 22 and 15 years out from diagnosis with my cancers. I can still occasionally get the “So-o , how ARE you” from people I’ve known for a long time. I can also surprise people when the subject of cancer comes up in conversation. While I don’t always mention it, it has been so much a part of my life for so long that talking about it is quite natural for me. As far as those who have lost to the beast, posts here have mentioned how feeling and unfeeling others can be. Rhetorically, do we tip-toe around you, do we treat you as normally as possible, do we ignore your loss? How clumsy we can be… It is so individual to the one who has lost AND to those around that person. My friends Dennis and Gary and our Al are so strongly on my mind – and I just this moment learned that we lost another friend to the beast, so I add my friend MaryLou to this “short” list. We “outsiders” go back to our normal lives after a relatively short spell, but not them. Not having walked in your shoes, all I can say is: Still lifting.
An, thank you so much for continuing this blog.