What If…

I rarely step into the “what if” room.  It’s just not a place I like to go, because the “what if’s” make the reality of the situation bigger and bolder!

A neighbor forced me into that room this afternoon when she asked “Have you ever thought about how your life would be if Leroy hadn’t died from cancer?”

To be fair, this didn’t come out of the blue.  She is reading a book that deals with “what if’s” so it was on her mind.  But it threw me for a loop.

I’d never gone to that place.  I’ve spent the last few years trying so hard to make a new life after losing him, that I haven’t had the time or the inclination to think about what would have been if cancer hadn’t come into our life and turned it upside down.

And I’m not going there now either.

But I do wonder if it’s common to think about the “what if’s” after such a life changing event?

How can we possibly dwell in the unknown place when we have grieving, healing, and living to do?  We have no choice but to pick up the pieces and little by little,  start our new path.  The tears, heart ache, sorrow and resilience in each of us gives us the strength to grow from our loss.

WHAT IF that didn’t happen?  Now that’s something to worry about.

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