A day like no other…
Some might call it the final good-bye but it’s far from that. It’s a physical separation, so I guess it’s a form of closure, but I’m not sure we really ever say “good-bye.”
This is a simple message for you Al, because I know how your heart is trembling, anticipating what tomorrow will bring. It will bring tears and smiles and every other emotion we humans are lucky enough to hold dear.
It will be a difficult, exhausting day too.
Your family will be by your side and you will have the “lifting” you need to get through the day.
Take it from someone who traveled more than six thousand miles, through TSA check points and many airplanes, to make sure Leroy was at rest in the perfect place of his choosing, this is a day that will mark your life as well as Linda’s.
So make it about the two of you. Before you leave the house, put something in your pocket that was special to the both of you. Bring her a favorite flower that will keep her company after you leave the family plot. Most of all, and this helped me a lot, talk to her, Al. Before the family gathers to say their good-byes, excuse yourself and take some quiet time alone with your loved one. Everyone will understand and my gosh, after spending a life time together, you certainly have a lot say.
No doubt in my mind, she’ll be listening. And that’s when you slip your hand inside your pocket and squeeze that special treasure you’ve brought from home.
Let the stories be told and let the tears flow and from one of those stories laughter will break through and before you know it, smiles and good memories will begin the real healing.
Prayers and strength to you my friend.
July 13, 2014 @ 9:10 am
There is some humor included with the loss of Linda….thought you might like it. (this will be my last). We always had dogs and cats over the years. Some are buried in our yard. Our last cat was named Murphy. He was Linda’s baby and traveled with us everywhere except vacations. Murphy was 19 years old when he was put to sleep and cremated. I went to get the tiny urn, brought it home, gave it to Linda and she put it in our closet. It had been there for some 6-7 years. I never saw it again after I gave it to her. She said she wanted to be buried with Murphy with her. She never told the kids that he was in our closet. I never said anything ’cause I assumed she told them. So as we were talking about her burial, I told them that I now had to search the closet to find Murphy’s urn. They broke out into laughter saying that this was just like Mom. I found Murphy’s urn and took it with me. His and Linda’s urns are together forever in the family plot!
July 13, 2014 @ 8:43 am
Oh my, what a post Laurie…tears to my eyes and a tug at my heart. Thank you, thank you!
It was a good day, sadness and happiness were evident. Our family minister did a wonderful service mixing family memories with scripture. Linda is home with family. She is not alone ’cause she rests at the head of my mother’s grave. I’ll join her there one day. My mother was the youngest of 12 children ( 2 babies died in childbirth) and 11 of her siblings are buried in the family plot along with her parents, she and my father along with many cousins. It was great to show my grandchildren their heritage as they read the headstones. The family minister has presided over many funerals and he graciously came when I needed him. His words of comfort, HOPE and faith let us all know that “It is well with the Lord”. My daughter, son and I spoke…emotions were at the surface and came through but we made it through what we had to say. My grandchildren saw and took pictures at the 100+ year old house where my sister and I grew up and where my mother and all of her siblings were born and grew up. It is still occupied by a very nice lady.
Like you Laurie, I’ll make a journey (mine is only 4 hours) periodically to stand at the grave and talk with her to let her know how much she is missed but that we are OK ’cause she taught us well. Thank you for such a touching post. And to all who responded, I am grateful for your words and support. May God continue to bless us one and all. “A soul remembered is never really gone”….First Phone Call From Heaven by Mitch Albom.
July 12, 2014 @ 1:35 pm
Laurie – beautiful thoughts for our Al and for all of us! I still wear or carry something that my folks gave me on the anniversaries of their births, deaths, and wedding. It gives me such comfort and a beautiful feeling of warmth.
Al – I and we are always with you. Lifting!
July 12, 2014 @ 11:20 am
A beautiful post, Laurie, for a special member of this group.
May we all join in lifting Al on this day. Blessings, Al. May peace be with you.
July 12, 2014 @ 10:14 am
Even though I haven’t posted in some time, I am always thinking of this group. Al, your contributions have meant so much to me and I lift up a prayer for your family during this difficult time.
July 11, 2014 @ 9:07 pm
Al, I hope your memories of the better times, of the good times, lift you through the darkness that wishes to envelope you. Remember one little step, then another little step, step after step, that’s how we get out of the darkness and back into the light.