A week and a day….
I don’t need a calendar to tell me what week this is.
I don’t need a calendar to tell me that three days ago, six years ago, Leroy was moved to a hospital bed in our family room. It had a special, inflatable mattress that had a pump attached to it so it stayed inflated. It kept him more comfortable than a regular flat mattress.
I don’t need a calendar to tell me that tomorrow, six years ago, the hospice nurse, who had just arrived today, six years ago, suggested that Leroy use a morphine pump to ease his pain. He reluctantly agreed and I watched carefully as she put the needle in his arm. I remember looking up at him. He was already watching me.
I don’t need a calendar for any of these details because there is something about this week that triggers so many unsettling emotions inside of me. It only happens during this week.
I don’t think anyone can tell that I’m different this week. No one at the gas station or the grocery store notices the change, but I know.
It’s a week that leads up to a day and I promise you, I don’t need a calendar for that day.
August 15, 2014 @ 10:44 am
What I wouldn’t give to hear that laugh one more time! Leroy Sievers, a dear man with a huge heart and a great big laugh. We send our love to you, Laurie, as we think of ‘the big man’ today.
August 14, 2014 @ 3:45 pm
It’s what has been explained to me as “anniversary memory.” Even children have it. Some things just become part of our wiring. Will lift up some special prayers for you this week.
August 14, 2014 @ 11:16 am
Sending hugs and love. ~ Mo