We had a gathering at my house yesterday; six women, all widows and we all got to that place because of cancer.
I looked around the table at one point and I thought about how much each of us has been through in our lives.
Each of our husbands had different types of cancer, so our journeys were different just because the care and the dying was different, but the care giving and the love we felt for each of them was intense. And there we sat, all connected by this strangling disease, not to mention the way it changed who we were BECAUSE OF cancer.
We’ve met many times before and sometimes our conversations gravitate toward our memories. We talk about trips to the doctor or the highs and lows of the treatment process and how as caregivers we were the advocates for our loved ones. Some in the group have kids and some do not and that makes all the difference in the world when it comes to healing and grieving and getting through the death and re-inventing of ones life.
What I noticed yesterday is that we didn’t talk about “them” this time. It was more about us and the future. One of us says she’s ready to take the plunge and will try Internet dating. She’s done a ton of research, probably too much, but she thinks she’s found the website that suits her needs. We talked about how “dating” is so different now and meeting someone when you’ve been out of that game for so long, is so awkward.
So there we were, six cancer widows trying to push forward. We’ve been through all the stages of care giving, grief, redefining life and now it appears there’s another stage some of us are about to enter: the try to meet someone phase.
Did I say “awkward” earlier? I mean, really, the idea of it just seems so AWKWARD.
Guess I’m not there…..yet!