I’ve mentioned the widows’ group I’m a part of and how we get together from time to time to share a meal and our memories.
Over the weekend it started with chit chat and morphed into real “widow-like” talk.
I’m not a joiner, so I don’t know about other groups, but I think we turned a corner in this group and that the conversation was real. It dealt with real life, every day concerns that come with being alone, grieving, and just getting older without growing old with your loved one.
We’re all in different places with our widowhood. So I like that we can share our experiences and those of us who have been “there” can relate and help guide those who are just hitting that bump in the road. We’re all grieving differently too. I think that has to do with where we were in our relationships when cancer entered the picture and how we were as caregivers: some of us were more “hands-on” than others.
The future was a hot topic this time around: How to become less “invisible” and more “alive,” and facing the scary world of dating, even how to meet someone has awakened in some, while others shudder to step into that puddle.
I’m telling you, it was a new place for all of us, at this gathering.
I came away realizing that cancer took away not only our lives as we knew them, but it took away who we were: our identities were stripped away and if you knew any one of us you’d think we were strong, independent women.
We were honest and open and looking for answers.
Cancer Widows Woes are real.
January 29, 2015 @ 8:13 am
Seems to me, a much greater connection has been established so most any topic is OK and will be treated seriously.
I have 2 female friends, both lost their husbands to cancer 1 about 10 years ago..colon cancer and the other about 6 years ago to melanoma. I knew one of the husbands. We’ve stayed in touch via email but sometimes have lunch. They have helped me try to navigate loss and living. I find that their grief paths are so similar to mine that I take comfort in their advice and wisdom.
Regardless of being a widow or widower, grief remains the same but how it is affects each individual can vary greatly but it is very real even today for them. Life without one’s spouse is a very lonely journey even when surrounded by family and friends.