I’ve heard it from so many women who also check the box next to the word “widow” that they are challenged when it comes to handling the “big” stuff.
I’m not talking about paying the gardener or calling a plumber, although many wives do leave that to their husbands to handle.
In our household Leroy was always worried that he’d come home on any given night and find the doors off the hinges and some part of the house involved in a DIY (Do It Yourself) project. That’s why early on in our relationship, he mandated the “no power tools for Laurie….EVER, rule.”
When it came to big purchases, business matters, legal things, we were in it together. And I can tell you I share in what these other widows are feeling: it’s hard to sit across the table in a law office, or talk to a home financing officer or even gather all the tax material, much less make major decisions about the kids college plans. There you are, sitting by yourself. Just you and for most of us, we are thinking about what our spouses would have contributed to the meeting. We bring them with us. Of course, we don’t mention that to anyone because that would make us sound a little odd, so we keep that part to ourselves.
It doesn’t matter how many years you’ve been a widow either.
We just miss that solid, sure voice that says “There’s a man in the room, and he’s with me, and we’re in this together.”
Just another “widow’s challenge” on any given day.