I keep my old calendars from years ago because I’m a list maker and there are so many lists and notes that fill each day that I sometimes refer back to remind me of life’s moments.
These calendars are stacked one on top of another except for 2008. I keep that one open and I turn the pages as the months pass because those notes reference the final year of Leroy’s life. Treatment dates, doctor appointments, blood draws, surgeries: I can see the cancer curve emerge from January to June.
June, when things took a severe turn on the cancer path. It was this week, according to my notes, when he had a big day in the scanning machine. “Devastating day” is what I wrote: “New mets” I scribbled down: Short and to the point, I’d say.
June, when he refused to stop his rehab because he was working so hard and had managed to will himself to walk again. Perseverance. Progress.
June, new meds to seek out the staph that was so elusive. “Pick up new staph meds” was my reminder.
June, his birthday. He would be 53. “Pick up the cake”
June, friends from near and far away places come to see him. “Manny here” “Joe visits” “Aziz and Ted, noon.”
June, 2008…a month of changes.