Traveling through the road bumps of cancer world changes us.
Topics we hesitate to discuss, become the norm with our care givers, doctors and nurses. What we would label as “too much information,” before cancer, becomes “needed information” to chart our course over time. And if the diagnosis is terminal, the conversation road takes some of us to the place of where we choose to die.
It can be upsetting, heart breaking, but so necessary. As care givers, we’ve got to get this part, right. It’s what many call a final wish. It can be even more important that a final resting place.
For the cancer patient, knowing that place has been settled upon can bring peace before the final stages of cancer take away the power to communicate.
A conversation I had recently with a care giver, brings me to this topic. She didn’t agree with her husband’s choice of where he wanted to die and she leaned on him to change his mind.
It was mostly out of fear, she said, that she didn’t want to be alone in those final hours and certainly didn’t want to carry out the instructions left by her hospice team, if death came in the early hours before dawn.
It took family to convince her that this wasn’t her choice.
Her husband got his wish.
It can be so hard traveling in cancer world.