A double life…

I’ve heard from some other cancer caregivers and it seems reality is in the telling.  So many of us lived double lives: sadness and stress on the inside and strength and courage on the outside.  We were the faces of hope and positive thinking to our loved ones.

We got up in the morning filled with positive thoughts.  Today was going to be a good day.  This was the day that the cancer in ‘our’ house would be chased away.  We weren’t going to allow this disease to rule our lives, let alone change it forever. And we were successful many of those days, weren’t we?

We tried to keep things ‘normal.’  Even on the days spent in the chemo room, we sat there calmly, deep within our thoughts, willing that  poison to kill cancer cells with every drop.  And we gently nudged our loved one to drink fluids and rest, assuring them that tomorrow they would feel stronger, if not better.

Did our own health suffer along with way?  Maybe we didn’t exercise as much or watch our diets the way we should have?

Did we age along the way?  Where did all those wrinkles come from: those bags under our eyes?

Do we regret a minute of it?

The heart never gets wrinkles.



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